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Struggling undiagnosed young adult and assessment fear.

Paper

Hi everyone, I’ve posted here a couple of times before. I’m 24 male undiagnosed and very new to the community. I’m struggling at the moment and I’m feeling very overwhelmed. I recently left home and moved away and started a job which is good progress for me but equally as overwhelming. I really don’t cope with change very well and I’ve been very up and down and had a lot of shutdowns and meltdowns in the past month. I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to apart from my mom and it’s very lonely. I like my own company and I want to be alone but at the same time I feel upset that I don’t have anyone to call a friend. It’s frustrating. I had a friend before but they’ve now drifted away, it was the longest friendship I’d ever managed to have but now that’s gone too and I struggle to maintain friendships.

I want to seek an official diagnosis, I support self diagnosis but it’s not the route that’s right for me. My issue is I’m struggling to find the courage to go through with it. Related to me really not coping with change, I also don’t cope with the unknown of not knowing what to expect in a certain scenario. Everytime I have to do something I have to know exactly what is going to happen and meticulously plan it out so that there is as little surprise as possible. Therefore the unknown of what happens during the assessment scares me and gives me anxiety. I believe that I have masked massively for years and years and I’m afraid that I won’t be believed and then I won’t know where that leaves me. Having a diagnosis would help me manage and understand myself. What can I expect in an NHS assessment? And what can I do to put myself at ease?

Parents

  • Paper  you are doing really well 

    You are fighting your fears and "doing it anyway" which is awesome Slight smile

    the best way to ensure you get an assessment is to prepare well

    so start by getting together a list of reasons why you think you are autistic. Have this in electronic form so you can email etc to any assessors. Once you have done this post it here for us to check over. 

  • in reply to aidie

    ok so I had a go at making a list of my characteristics. I think I’m better at some things than others but here’s my list at the moment:

    • Very anxious in social scenarios and avoid social contact where possible
    • Struggle to make conversation and keep it going
    • Find it difficult to make friends and maintain friendships. My friendships usually have required the other person to be persistent/understanding. Additionally I get very nervous and anxious when seeing family members I have known all my life and seen many times.
    • Enjoy being on my own
    • Don’t cope well with changes or changes to routine
    • Have to carefully plan things before I do them, even more so when I do not ordinarily have to do the task/event
    • Always have a plan/script in my mind before going into a scenario and get thrown when the other person/thing doesn’t follow the plan/script
    • Have difficulty understanding how I feel and putting it into words for other people.
    • Need routine or continuity or I become very anxious or overwhelmed
    • Either struggle to make eye contact or I make too much eye contact because I’m trying too hard
    • Get very upset/uncomfortable when other people touch my belongings or rearrange my things
    • Very good at noticing changes or details that perhaps are not obvious to most
    • I struggle to interpret/understand other people’s emotions (think I have learned to recognise more obvious ones however).
    • Have strong interests in certain subjects. Some for many years, some much shorter and intense until I move onto the next.
    • Difficulty talking on the phone, struggle to follow the conversation and realise when it is my turn to speak, sometimes hearing back “are you still there?” because I don’t realise I should be speaking.
  • in reply to Paper

    that is a very good list i have some others just to see if u have them

    a. do u have autistic shutdowns or meltdowns ?

    b. do u stim at all ( look up a list of stims they can be quite a surprise ) ?

    c  does any of ur blood relative have autism or ADHD ?

    d. do u find it hard to maintain eye contact ?

    e. would u consider yourself clumsy ?

    f. have u ever been called autistic or weird of different (by who and when) ?

  • in reply to Paper

    add ones u said yes to to your list  a b d f these are all highly significant

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