Anxiety

I’m just going through assessment. Can’t force myself to fill the paperwork yet as so many things keep arising that i think oh lord!

I have a million questions: when I’ve pushed myself past my anxiety then become physically ill am I pushing beyond my limitations? 

Im starting degree number 4 this year at 42, ten years of single parenting and I can’t stop. I just want to achieve everything I didn’t when I was young and didn’t have the study skills I’ve self taught. 

I want to do everything save everyone, be great at anything I try and then I break, either physically or emotionally.

I can’t hold a relationship down due to fear of being found out, all my oddities being exposed and told I’m not good enough for anyone!

I read a book for anxiety years ago Feel the Fear and have been ‘doing it’ since. Pushing past the anxiety. I’m slowly recognising when I’m obsessed. But also recognising slight routine changes, not being given full information, fear of rejection by everyone is making me ill. 

I use hypnotherapy techniques, meditation and yoga to help, but I just don’t know when my achievements and goals and desires for travel, novelty then hiding because someone made one silly comment or their feelings overwhelmed me will stop. 

Does it get better post diagnosis, do they give useful life advice? 

Sorry for the long post, I’m tired and my planned routine for the week has been changed last minute so I’m in free fall!