• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 1679 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I don't want to be autistic. I am though. Seeking advice.

NAS74368

I am a recently diagnosed autistic man in my forties (it's possible that I have ADHD too but assessment is just beginning) and I honestly don't know how to progress now I have that diagnosis. It isn't a diagnosis that can progress to treatment or cure, its like discovering I'm colour-blind (which I also am), sure it explains some things but there's no hope for progress (at least that's how it feels to me).

I've always struggled with social interactions, I've always been incredibly uncomfortable with eye-contact and prolonged physical contact, I have always had special interests that I throw myself into obsessively, I have always had many other features of autism and I thought that pursuing a diagnosis alongside counselling would leave me with a better understanding, fairer assessment and kinder opinion of myself (I have had depression and anxiety for over twenty years also). It hasn't (in fact my depression has sunk to an all-time low since the diagnosis).

It's left me with an identifiable part of myself that I – in all honesty – would love to cut out. I'd happily give up the enjoyment of my special interests if it meant that I could be comfortable with the kinds of interaction with the world that non-autistic people do.

In short, I don't want to be autistic even though I know there's nothing I can do about it.

Any help or advice would be very welcome.

Parents

  • I'm working through a problem I have with the language of Autism, the whole thing is wrong because its medical terminology used to define a level of disability. 

    Being diagnosed feels like a criticism, it defines a disability and it doesn't give any useful information that explains what it means.

    At the end of October my son is being assessed so I've set myself a dead line to build a framework of language that supports an Autistic identity that will allow me to share with him my experience and explain what a potential diagnosis would mean. 

    Part of what I'm doing is looking at my Autistic traits describing how they work, what I do to manage them and what it means for other people.

    This is part of what I have so far

    Autism is a collection of different elements of differing severity that make up an autistic profile and contributes to a persons identity.

    A person with an Autistic profile will be operating with a comfort zone, this may be very limited or vast, spending time outside that comfort zone creates a stress that builds up over time, when that stress becomes overwhelming the instinct for fight, flight or freeze in place takes over leading to a melt down or shut down. Once overwhelmed it will take time to return to normal which can best be done in a quiet place.

     It is very unlikely that I will allow an overwhelming level of stress but if this does occur my instinctive reaction is to shut down and withdraw, if this happens please leave me alone I will be safe.

    People with an Autistic Profile can find it difficult to observe and demonstrate non verbal communications, this will vary and looking for visual cues can be taught however it may seem that someone isn’t paying attention when listening this is often not the case and they may be limiting other sensory inputs to allow the processing of your words.

    I will seek to confirm what I have understood following a conversation either by providing a verbal or written summary.

    I don't know it might be helpful if you tried something like this, identify your successful coping strategies and ask for help finding strategies where you are not as confident.

  • in reply to LongSpoons

    Or as I might rephrase it...(with only minor changes)

    "It is very unlikely that I will allow an overwhelming level of stress but if this does occur my instinctive reaction is to reach for my battered claw hammer with the yellow handle. If this happens please shut up and withdraw, leave me alone, and you will be safe.

Reply
  • in reply to LongSpoons

    Or as I might rephrase it...(with only minor changes)

    "It is very unlikely that I will allow an overwhelming level of stress but if this does occur my instinctive reaction is to reach for my battered claw hammer with the yellow handle. If this happens please shut up and withdraw, leave me alone, and you will be safe.

Children
No Data