Coming to terms with realising you are probably autistic

Hi,

Sorry I've been posting on here such a lot recently.  I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this.

Did you find it hard to come to terms with, when you first realised you might be autistic?  I haven't yet been diagnosed, but I'm becoming more and more sure that I am autistic, the more I find out about autism and recognise the signs in myself.

I'm finding that it's very hard for me to concentrate on work at the moment, and I'm just feeling upset, tense and unsettled.  Also really anxious.

I don't know if this is normal or if anyone else experienced this when you were at a similar stage?

I don't know if I should try to fight it and carry on as normal, or give myself a bit of slack and try to rest a bit more when I can.

Parents
  • For me the final diagnosis was a relief. After years of being passed from pillar to post, treating the effects, but never looking at the cause. Although in fairness, there was some childhood stuff that complicated the situation. I have found post diagnosis a bit of a rollercoaster. Coming to terms with who I am now, but also who I’ve always actually been and who I could have been if I’d been diagnosed earlier. All a bit futile really, but part of my journey I suppose.

Reply
  • For me the final diagnosis was a relief. After years of being passed from pillar to post, treating the effects, but never looking at the cause. Although in fairness, there was some childhood stuff that complicated the situation. I have found post diagnosis a bit of a rollercoaster. Coming to terms with who I am now, but also who I’ve always actually been and who I could have been if I’d been diagnosed earlier. All a bit futile really, but part of my journey I suppose.

Children
  • Hi Riddler,

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I hope that it gets easier for you in time.  From reading about other people's experiences, it sounds like many people go through the stage of wondering how life could have been different if they had known earlier.  I am thinking about this myself (but still waiting for diagnosis, so not fully processing it yet).  At the moment I feel ambivalent.  On the one hand, I think that a lot of emotional pain could have been avoided if I had known earlier.   Also, perhaps I would have found a way to be more successful in my life and relationships (I've never had a long-term relationship).  But on the other hand, perhaps it was good that I didn't have any reason to think that I couldn't do things that other people can do.  I wouldn't have wanted to feel that I was limited by a condition.  (If I am autistic, I still wouldn't want to feel limited by it, and I would still want to have the same hopes and dreams as before.  But perhaps you know what I mean.)

    If you feel like sharing this, how do you think life would have been different if you had known earlier?  (If you don't feel like sharing this, no problem.)  I'd also be interested to hear other people's thoughts on this.