Coming to terms with realising you are probably autistic

I feverishly researched autistic traits, once I had realised that I might be autistic. It largely produced a sense of euphoria in me, all the things I did or felt that seemed odd had a reason and were explicable; plus there were other people whose inner nature and experiences were similar to mine. It was just wonderful. The only anxiety I had was in the run up to my clinical assessment, and that was just that I might fail to be diagnosed as autistic, and be fobbed off with some other condition. That did make me quite anxious, particularly as I had no previous experience of psychiatry or psychology and had never previously broached my fairly constant mild depression and more serious anxiety problems with any clinician.

Hi Martin, I think I've felt that sense of euphoria too at times.  For me it is the feeling that I can finally accept parts of myself that I hated and was in denial of.  I can accept them because they're not my fault, and there's a reason for them.  Also it is so wonderful to talk to people who have experienced the same things and know exactly how it feels.  And some days I feel like in a way it's even a special privilege to be autistic because my brain is wired differently and that's an unusual thing and something to celebrate.  

I also feel worried, just as you did, that I will be diagnosed as not autistic, because then I don't know how I will be able to explain the different problems I have.  I'm trying not to think about my assessment, but at least now I know roughly how far away it will be: it will probably be 7 months from now.  It's comforting to know that.

In the end my assessment was very straightforward, the psychiatrist put me at my ease, as much as was possible, and was aware of how stressful being assessed could be. I rather suspect that he was reasonably convinced that I was autistic just from reading the questionnaire. Within 15 minutes he told me that he was going to give me an ASC diagnosis and the rest of the time we talked through my anxiety, depressive and OCD problems.

In the end my assessment was very straightforward, the psychiatrist put me at my ease, as much as was possible, and was aware of how stressful being assessed could be. I rather suspect that he was reasonably convinced that I was autistic just from reading the questionnaire. Within 15 minutes he told me that he was going to give me an ASC diagnosis and the rest of the time we talked through my anxiety, depressive and OCD problems.

Yes, I think that giving as much information as possible beforehand is a useful strategy. My daughter saw a female psychologist for her assessment, I think she found it more congenial. 

That's good, it sounds like it went fairly smoothly.  I guess I am nervous mainly because I have read that women often get misdiagnosed, but hopefully that won't happen.  I've sent in my forms now, plus a load of extra stuff I'd written about my traits and memories from childhood.  I think probably they will know from reading that.