Diagnosing Autism in Women

In the run up to my NHS autism assessment, I actually asked them about this and was reassured to be told that, yes, they do allow for the kind of differences in presentation that might be seen in women (although I think these differences may well occur in anyone, irrespective of gender, because historically the descriptions and diagnostic criteria have been built up based on studies which focussed on a very stereotypical male presentation, often skewed towards younger males).   They also reassured me that they took differences relating to age and masking into account too (just as well for a 55 yo female who had "passed" for decades!) 

So I'd suggest asking the Autism Team and weighing up their answers.  And, before doing so, it might be worth looking at online videos on the subject.  e.g. Sarah Hendrickx or Yo Samdy Sam on Youtube, plus Ausome Training have a series of interviews with autistic women (Ausome Women, chats with autistic women)

The waiting list is another matter.  I waited nearly 2 years to get my diagnosis but we went privately for our son because it felt urgent and mental health services were really letting him down.  So we used The Retreat in York and they were a lot quicker and gave much more information and support.  The Retreat also do NHS work so we asked about this first and the wait at that time (a couple of years ago) was around 14 months).  I then asked how soon we could have an appointment if we went privately through them and the answer was, "How about next Tuesday!"  I think that all in all, including an initial screening appointment, 3 interviews, some questionnaires and a diagnostic appointment incl. a full report (which I didn't get on the NHS, although some do) discussion of individual strengths and weaknesses and ideas for post-diagnostic support, we spend less than £1500 (although they've reorganised since and their pricing might be different).     

What a fantastic reply!

Your story about your NHS experience is very reassuring, as my friend is somewhat reluctant to see a GP for fear of being instantly passed off as non-autistic simply because she does not "look" autistic.

I'll check out the Autism Team and the YouTube videos and see if they have anything interesting to say :) 

I can see that the NHS vs private route to diagnosis may be a difficult one to negotiate, especially since we need to consider time, money, and (in light of @JustMe's response below) the possibility of a private diagnosis not being accepted by certain organisations and departments. Needless to say, thank you very much for your help!

Yes, it's definitely worth asking in advance about the diagnosis being accepted.  I can only say that here in Durham, our son's diagnosis gave him access to the same local services as me with my NHS diagnosis.  However, that might not mean that much because post diagnostic services are few and far between and the local charity we were signposted to only offered a very narrowly-conceived and time limited 1:1 service which wasn't at all individualised and more "one-size-fits-all". 

My preference (money permitting) would be to stick with the private service as there were fewer "roadblocks" (such as long waits, little individual tailoring, few options from which to choose etc) and more effort to keep it person-centred and relevant to circumstances.  I must admit to feeling bad seeing all that money disappear on services I'd assumed would be readily available on the NHS.  But it depends very much on the urgency, the finances and your individual values.  For myself, I feel ideologically opposed to private healthcare but when it came to my son it wasn't a hill I was prepared to die on.     

Yes, it's definitely worth asking in advance about the diagnosis being accepted.  I can only say that here in Durham, our son's diagnosis gave him access to the same local services as me with my NHS diagnosis.  However, that might not mean that much because post diagnostic services are few and far between and the local charity we were signposted to only offered a very narrowly-conceived and time limited 1:1 service which wasn't at all individualised and more "one-size-fits-all". 

My preference (money permitting) would be to stick with the private service as there were fewer "roadblocks" (such as long waits, little individual tailoring, few options from which to choose etc) and more effort to keep it person-centred and relevant to circumstances.  I must admit to feeling bad seeing all that money disappear on services I'd assumed would be readily available on the NHS.  But it depends very much on the urgency, the finances and your individual values.  For myself, I feel ideologically opposed to private healthcare but when it came to my son it wasn't a hill I was prepared to die on.     

nice