My Daughter lost her dad to cancer at the age of 3 yrs old so always put a lot of her behaviours down to bereavement when she was growing up (Separation Anxiety- Friendship issues - repeating behaviours). She has always been in mainstream school and has done okay. Since year 9 (age14) things really started to change for her as her anxiety became so bad she would often have panic attacks (meltdowns) in the mornings before school and she had a lot of issues around friendships with other girls in her class. She became very withdrawn and did not want to socialize with any one and just wanted to stay home with her animals and myself. She is an only child so I would worry for her a lot as I felt she was very unhappy.
Things became so bad that every day she would have a massive panic attack in the morning before school it would leave her exhausted and unable to do anything else. I had to start taking a lot of time off work to be with her as I was so concerned for her well being.This carried on for a few months and it got to the point of complete school refusal. Her school was amazing and after an assessment from Chams and doctors letters I finally managed with the help of her school to apply for blended learning where she could learn from home with a online tutor everyday.
Chams have started the ASD screening process for her and she has got past stage 1 so I have been advised from them due to the waiting times of 3 years now if your child gets past stage 1 they feel they have ASD so to accept this is as her diagnosis and continue your life until the diagnosis comes though in 3 years.
This has all come as a big shock for my daughter and myself as we never thought she had ASD but now looking at everything it all seems to fit with the way she has been all her life so it has been good to know while she is young so she can adjust and accept herself for how she is. What she struggles with most is her extreme anxiety she hates leaving the house and panics when she see other people I am waiting for treatment from chams for this but it looks like such a long wait so unsure on how to deal with it. She also struggles so much with friendships she says it easier just to have online friends as she prefers that so has distance herself from her old friends she use to have.
I worry so much for her as the life I thought she was going to have is going to be very different now. I,m hoping that when her teenage years pass and she has accepted things she will start to want to do more in life but I also worry she may not as she just wants to be home and stay calm indoors without the pressures of society. I know this is unrealistic as she will need to work and make a living I,m just hoping she will be able to achieve this for herself but it looks like she will have many challenges to over come to just deal with people and the world in general.
I would love to her from anyone who has gone through a similar journey and how you cope with it all. I know this happens to a lot of family's but I haven't spoken to anyone yet so feeling very alone with it all. I have joined online support groups and Facebook groups and have found them a lifeline with stories and advice but I feel due to her age and how well she has coped in life before her 14 years there is not a lot for teenagers and how you can re-adjust after a diagnosis at 14 it would be good if she could join an online support group for teenagers who have gone through similar stories but I,m not sure if this even exists? if anyone knows of one I would love to hear from you.
