Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I am currently on the waiting list via the NHS to have an autism assessment. I have always had a strong inclination that I am autistic, however I’ve not pushed hard enough for a diagnosis up until this point.
I have a job which I’ve had for almost ten months now, but I have had a meltdown, got quite angry when things ‘haven’t been done correctly’ and snapped at people. Unfortunately, in my job, there are people who like to take any ‘mistakes’ you make and run with them to management. This is of course causing me worry as I consider this job my forever job and want to do well in it and not be seen as a ‘problem’. I’ve told one person in management that I am in a waiting list to get a diagnosis, but I haven’t mentioned to anyone else, so when I have displayed autism traits it’s deemed by my colleagues as me being rude, snappy or quite frankly, strange!
Even though I have told one person in management, I’m afraid that because I haven’t had a formal diagnosis that they think I’m just using autism as an excuse for what colleagues consider to be rudeness and anger issues. I’ve had the obligatory diagnosis in the past of anxiety and depression, and have been put on medication throughout life, and have also tried to self medicate, both of which were to no avail.
I don’t want to be seen as a problem, or risk being dismissed or suspended, however I’m reluctant to tell anyone as people in this job (as I’m sure in most jobs) are not trustworthy and will use these things against you.
Has anyone had any similar experiences, or does anyone have any suggestions on how to move forward without people constantly complaining about me snapping when things are not done as I see how they need to be done?
I am so scared of having a ‘bad mark’ against my name or being punished.
If anyone could also tell me if they have tried things whilst waiting for a diagnosis, that can help with what is perceived as rudeness or snapping?
I really don’t want to lose my job, or not be given opportunity to progress because of this.
Thank you!
Anger and snapping at people is crossing a boundary with them, and your behavior is creating a threatening work environment, which is why they went to management about it. The way you said "they take any 'mistakes' you make and run with them to management," that you quoted the word 'mistakes,' means that you don't see that you made any mistakes and you don't believe that you're in the wrong here. But the thing is, no one else is responsible for controlling your anger for you, and if you can't control your anger, they might send you to places for anger management, or have some kind of training session about workplace harrassment. If It's your first time reacting that way, they might be lenient and give you another chance, but if it's goes on, they might let you go. A simple thing is just to apologize for your behavior negatively impacting others, and then the management will be more sympathetic to about hearing how you're waiting for your asd assessment.
Hi
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia,
Thanks for the advice. I have made my apologies instantly directly to the people concerned, however it seems as though they want to use this to get me disciplined for some reason. There is a member of the team we can go to before going to management, and it seems as though the person in question has history of doing things like this.
I definitely agree that I was in the wrong, and I immediately apologised the minute I saw the person again, so I take full responsibility for what happened. My reaction could have come across a lot better which is one of the reasons I’m going through the process of an assessment, to get help and support in dealing with situations that aren’t going as I see them in my head, if that makes sense. Unfortunately it’s one of the traits I display which hopefully will be addressed.
With that being said, and with your thoughts given, I think it’s probably a good idea to be a bit more open with management about going through this process, because it is clear that the traits that I present in certain situations can get me in trouble, or make people feel threatened, or use something against me that I’m trying to get help for.
I appreciate your response. Thank you.
I understand that when things are not where they're supposed to be or expected to be, that might bother you a great deal because they're in the wrong place. But it might be a very simple fix that takes like 5 minutes or so, and it's not worth your time or energy to get angry at something like that.
And I do think you should be more open to the management team about your asd assessment, but only if they're understanding types of people. If they don't really care about anyone else and only care about profit, then maybe not.
I've learned that gossip about negative behaviors spreads like the plague at workplaces. So what would make you look good in the eyes of others, is to be friendly and greeting them, compliment them for their efforts, and thanking them sometimes. For some reason, complimenting others makes you look good in return, but bad mouthing others you look bad in return. Well, I hope things go well for you.