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Can anyone help me please

NAS73987

Hello, 

I am a 33 year old female and I have been sitting in the fact that I am on the autistic spectrum for really quite some time now.

There are just so many reasons. Socially, emotionally, just the way I am really.

I have two children, one who 11 and is diagnosed with Adhd and sensory processing problems and has asd traits. His last school wanted to re-refer him for another asd assessment as they said it was so clear he was on the spectrum but masking and I would absolutely agree.

My other son who is older (15), has been put on a neurodevelopmental pathway by his teachers at his school and who I believe is absolutely on the spectrum as does he. He’s very high functioning but absolutely there, always shown classic signs of asd but I’ve never pushed for diagnosis as he gets on so well. 

Anyway, after that bit of family information, I just so strongly believe I am there on the spectrum too and I have just accepted that this is who I am. 
I would have liked to know with certainty but I could have lived without knowing “officially” until this year that is.

I went through a massive mental health crisis at the end of last year/beginning of this year and was put under the crisis team for the first and last time. 
Upon meeting a physiatrist for less than an hour I was given a diagnosis of eupd. 
Now I can understand why upon my presentation at my lowest point in my adult life that conclusion could be drawn but I just don’t agree with it. 
I have also taken part in CBT therapy in the past where I was given a diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder and I have also struggled with disordered eating in the past too.

I would like to go about getting all this revised and asking about the possibility that I in fact have high functioning autism because it just fits. 
It’s like I can feel it inside that that is why I struggle if that makes sense. 

What do I do to try and find out? I have no idea where to start and I am so scared about speaking to anyone about this. 
A professional I was working with during my mental health crisis suggested I may be autistic and it felt like such a relief to have my feelings understood but I just don’t know where to go with this and will they just laugh at me and say I’m crazy?

Thanks. 

Parents

  • If you are Autistic then I think you've managed the first and most difficult step, self acknowledgement, then you can start to see how you've been trying to mask, trying to fit into a society that's not built for people like us. Fitting in can be exhausting. For me, Autism is a condition, fitting in is where disorder comes in, I never did fit in and, now, I'm OK with that, and don't feel any compulsion to try. There's no visible difference, I haven't started to wear trousers that too short I don't run around flapping my arms while blowing raspberries, I just don't feel I have to make small talk when I don't want to. I don't feel guilty because I don't see or call my friends if I don't want to. Lockdown has helped with that. 

    Before I went to see my GP to ask for referral I wrote it all down, how I felt, how much life had been a struggle for me and why and just made it very clear in my own head then it went quite fast. Before that I was very vague about it, it wasn't really clear in my own head and I couldn't even convince myself that I was autistic, doctors basically just said well you're already old so why should we bother...

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  • If you are Autistic then I think you've managed the first and most difficult step, self acknowledgement, then you can start to see how you've been trying to mask, trying to fit into a society that's not built for people like us. Fitting in can be exhausting. For me, Autism is a condition, fitting in is where disorder comes in, I never did fit in and, now, I'm OK with that, and don't feel any compulsion to try. There's no visible difference, I haven't started to wear trousers that too short I don't run around flapping my arms while blowing raspberries, I just don't feel I have to make small talk when I don't want to. I don't feel guilty because I don't see or call my friends if I don't want to. Lockdown has helped with that. 

    Before I went to see my GP to ask for referral I wrote it all down, how I felt, how much life had been a struggle for me and why and just made it very clear in my own head then it went quite fast. Before that I was very vague about it, it wasn't really clear in my own head and I couldn't even convince myself that I was autistic, doctors basically just said well you're already old so why should we bother...

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