What helped you while waiting for an assessment?

Errr absolutely. Waiting for an assessment at the Lorna Wing Centre myself and going through similar thoughts and emotions.

Not much is helping me with the wait. I need the answers to move forward and all of the things that would normally distract me aren't working at the moment. ALL I can think about is this.

I have no handy hints. But you aren't alone.

Hi Dawn,

I hope you have your assessment really soon.  Thanks a lot for recommending me the Lorna Wing Centre recently.  I have been in contact with them and they seem really humane and client-focused.  It helps to know that they are specialists in diagnosing adult women, because I have seen mental health professionals throughout my life and none has suggested to me that I might be autistic, so I am concerned that I might slip through the net again, but I feel confident that the Lorna Wing Centre would be able to give me an accurate diagnosis.

I'm sorry that it's difficult for you at the moment, I'm feeling a similar way.  It does help to know that I'm not alone.  

Yes, they are meant to be the world leaders so I'm sure we will be confident in whatever their assessment is. I think I'll get mine about September. They are a bit behind with the pandemic, like everyone. 

I was talking to a colleague yesterday whose partner has been waiting over a year on the NHS. He had a counsellor that spotted it straight away and referred. I can't get over the fact I spent so long under the care of the MH teams, giving them, I NOW realise as I action reply all those sessions with a clinical psychologist from memory, ALL of the descriptors and and so many clues, and they glossed over everything, still trying to treat me as though I was just having panic attacks. No matter how much I tried to explain that what they were saying just wasn't matching my experience, nothing seemed to be heard and I was just unco-operative and undeserving. Well, this DOES match my experience and all of the proposed solutions I'm reading about are the first things EVER suggested to me that make sense and look like they might work. 

It is a bit gobsmacking that they never spotted it, but sadly, I don't think general mental health professionals are all that clued up on ASD. That much is just down to training. What I can't forgive though is their general blame-the-patient attitude.

No, we can't afford to slip through the net again and I am sure the Lorna Wing Centre will find whatever is there to let us move forward, finally. The wait is a killer, though!

Hi JJ,
I hope you find a type of therapy that works for you.  It's good that you have such a finely-tuned awareness now of what would work and what wouldn't be helpful.

Hi Untoward,

I'm sorry to hear that you had such unhelpful experiences with CBT.  I wish that more mental health professionals were aware of the symptoms of autism.  It seems that people have only started to understand it more relatively recently.  I hope that there will be more awareness and training about it as time goes on.

One of my CBT therapists recommended me the meditation app 'Headspace'.  I use it every day and meditation has been one of the things that has helped me the most.  That also focuses on breathing and awareness of sensations.  

Hi Dawn, 
That sounds so incredibly frustrating.  I really hope you have your assessment soon and maybe you will share on this forum what the outcome is - I'd be interested to know?  (Only if you would feel comfortable doing this)  I hope it goes well for you.

That's really interesting.

At the time (15 years ago) I thought CBT was the thing that was the cure to all my ills - and it definitely did help me operate in the NT world in the face face of constant and massive anxiety.
BUT
I took it completely on board and tried to use it 24/7 without realising what I was actually doing was trying cement the 'mask' on so hard that I could never take it off (without a huge amount of drugs and alcohol etc)... and this meant that I was inevitably headed toward a series of breakdowns that I just could not understand why they were happening. Surely I was doing all the right things??

Now, I look at all the types of therapies around (many of which I have engaged with before) and the first question is: 'is this reinforcing a mask that I cannot maintain?', 'how much damage will I do to myself if I try to implement this approach'?....

I have been to so many GPs for depression and anxiety, seen counsellors, had CBT and other therapies, and not one of them brought up autism.

But when I think about it, these people were not trained to recognise it, and since I'm always masking when interacting with people I was effectively hiding it from them.

I didn't know masking was a thing, I thought everyone was faking behaviour and pretending to be normal all the time. It's weird to think about, but from a young age I just thought everyone was doing the same thing as me, and they were just better at it. It never occurred to me that for them it comes naturally.

I suppose the person who would have been best placed to spot my autism would be the man who gave me CBT for anxiety. During his sessions he tried so hard to get me to come out of my shell, or get me to say things or drill down to my core beliefs and what I feel in situations, but I had such great difficulty answering him. All I could ever say was "good" and "bad". He would give me examples of emotions and things I should be feeling and I would say "I don't know" or just "yes" and "no" and he got quite annoyed with me because he seemed to think I was purposefully being evasive.

The CBT actually made me feel terrible because I was so bad at it and I didn't understand why I found it so difficult to give responses.

I think a trained professional might have noticed that it wasn't normal, but his area of expertise was only in CBT and going through various worksheets he had been taught to, and I was not very good at them. It was as frustrating for me as it was for him.

Funnily enough, the CBT did still help my anxiety, but it was mainly the focus on noticing the physical sensations in order to better understand how my own body reacts so that I don't let the feedback loop of anxiety/panic set in, and also the focusing on breathing and slowing it down gave me a lot of control over anxiety.

I have been to so many GPs for depression and anxiety, seen counsellors, had CBT and other therapies, and not one of them brought up autism.

But when I think about it, these people were not trained to recognise it, and since I'm always masking when interacting with people I was effectively hiding it from them.

I didn't know masking was a thing, I thought everyone was faking behaviour and pretending to be normal all the time. It's weird to think about, but from a young age I just thought everyone was doing the same thing as me, and they were just better at it. It never occurred to me that for them it comes naturally.

I suppose the person who would have been best placed to spot my autism would be the man who gave me CBT for anxiety. During his sessions he tried so hard to get me to come out of my shell, or get me to say things or drill down to my core beliefs and what I feel in situations, but I had such great difficulty answering him. All I could ever say was "good" and "bad". He would give me examples of emotions and things I should be feeling and I would say "I don't know" or just "yes" and "no" and he got quite annoyed with me because he seemed to think I was purposefully being evasive.

The CBT actually made me feel terrible because I was so bad at it and I didn't understand why I found it so difficult to give responses.

I think a trained professional might have noticed that it wasn't normal, but his area of expertise was only in CBT and going through various worksheets he had been taught to, and I was not very good at them. It was as frustrating for me as it was for him.

Funnily enough, the CBT did still help my anxiety, but it was mainly the focus on noticing the physical sensations in order to better understand how my own body reacts so that I don't let the feedback loop of anxiety/panic set in, and also the focusing on breathing and slowing it down gave me a lot of control over anxiety.

Hi JJ,
I hope you find a type of therapy that works for you.  It's good that you have such a finely-tuned awareness now of what would work and what wouldn't be helpful.

Hi Untoward,

I'm sorry to hear that you had such unhelpful experiences with CBT.  I wish that more mental health professionals were aware of the symptoms of autism.  It seems that people have only started to understand it more relatively recently.  I hope that there will be more awareness and training about it as time goes on.

One of my CBT therapists recommended me the meditation app 'Headspace'.  I use it every day and meditation has been one of the things that has helped me the most.  That also focuses on breathing and awareness of sensations.  

That's really interesting.

At the time (15 years ago) I thought CBT was the thing that was the cure to all my ills - and it definitely did help me operate in the NT world in the face face of constant and massive anxiety.
BUT
I took it completely on board and tried to use it 24/7 without realising what I was actually doing was trying cement the 'mask' on so hard that I could never take it off (without a huge amount of drugs and alcohol etc)... and this meant that I was inevitably headed toward a series of breakdowns that I just could not understand why they were happening. Surely I was doing all the right things??

Now, I look at all the types of therapies around (many of which I have engaged with before) and the first question is: 'is this reinforcing a mask that I cannot maintain?', 'how much damage will I do to myself if I try to implement this approach'?....