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What helped you while waiting for an assessment?

Ultramarine

Hello,

I was just wondering if anyone can relate to the following things and if so, what helped you?


I'm currently waiting to hear whether my GP can refer me to the Lorna Wing Centre for an adult assessment.  If/when I confirm funding, the waiting list will be at least 5 or 6 months.  I'm a 38 year old woman.  I introduced myself recently on this forum and was overwhelmed by how kind and supportive the people on this forum are.  I feel glad to have found this community.

Because I'm relatively 'high functioning', I didn't suspect that I had autism until a few years ago, even though I knew something was wrong, and it's only now that I've plucked up the courage to have an assessment. Since finding out about autism, I'm becoming more and more sure that I am, and I have a friend who has an autistic son and they say that they are 100% sure that I am.

Did anyone else find the waiting period and the uncertainty difficult?  If so, what helped you?
I have some days where I feel sure that I'm autistic, and I feel relieved to have found the root of my problems and to know that they're not my fault.  I feel more accepting of myself than ever, because I know the reasons why I get anxious and struggle to talk around people.

Other times though, I find myself feeling like a fraud because I can function relatively well.  I wonder if I'm actually neurotypical and if so, I'm back to square one and I don't know the cause of my issues.   Does that make any sense?  Please don't get me wrong, I am grateful that although I have several difficulties, my problem isn't as debilitating as it could be, and I know many people struggle with day to day life much more.  But because I'm on the borderline, it makes it difficult to feel sure about whether I am autistic, and I feel that I can't accept myself and get used to who I am until I know for sure.

Can anyone relate to this and if so, what helped you?

Parents

  • I really, really felt the weight of uncertainty while waiting. (And people on here were really nice about it!) And it was like a yo-yo, as you say, between feeling a total fraud and suddenly having a whole new understanding myself....

    I think I could have paid a bit less attention to it (diagnosis) than I did?!  

    Sure there are lots of new ideas and possibilities to ruminate on but also - everyday life, work, people, interests...  I think I might have done better if I hadn't put almost everything else on 'pause' and focused only on the A thing.

Reply

  • I really, really felt the weight of uncertainty while waiting. (And people on here were really nice about it!) And it was like a yo-yo, as you say, between feeling a total fraud and suddenly having a whole new understanding myself....

    I think I could have paid a bit less attention to it (diagnosis) than I did?!  

    Sure there are lots of new ideas and possibilities to ruminate on but also - everyday life, work, people, interests...  I think I might have done better if I hadn't put almost everything else on 'pause' and focused only on the A thing.

Children
  • in reply to JJ

    Hi JJ, thanks for your reply, I found it really helpful.  I have been trying to focus on other things as you suggested.  Like you, I feel the inclination to 'pause' other things and focus on finding out about autism.  Maybe this is also an autistic trait - wanting to find a definite answer, and finding uncertainty difficult?
    I have been working as before, but feel less productive.  I will keep trying to focus on work, looking for activities that really take my mind off it in my free time, and trying to keep in touch with friends.  Yes, there is a lot more to life than the A thing!  

    I think it's probably normal to go through a stage where you are adjusting to the new knowledge about yourself.  I find that I'm observing myself and my behaviour, and thinking 'yes, that's why I'm anxious in this situation', or 'that's why that person didn't understand what I said, and I had to repeat it'.  In a way, this is helpful.  I think it will be temporary and hopefully over time I will be able to obsess about it less.