DRIVING

Every autistic person is different I’m autistic and I love driving it’s therapeutic for me just to drive around i had a lot of lessons and lots of practice so I would say that’s the best thing you can do have as many lessons as you can you should get more confident

Hi LibstheHobbit. (Just finished re-watching the Hobbit movies last night!)

I felt the same about driving. I was strongly encouraged to take lessons from 17, but I didn't really like it. School showed us horror scenes of crashes to scare us into being safe and that stuck with me. I had a few batches of lessons over a few years, did loads of lessons as a result, but then eventually went on to pass my test aged 22... because I felt ready.

What helped me a lot was doing an extra, optional course at the time called 'Pass Plus' (for after the driving test) - not sure if it's still a thing, or something else has replaced it. It involved 6 lessons covering conditions not included by default in standard driving tests. So: country roads, night driving, navigating (the hardest one for me - so much to concentrate on at once), motorway driving. At the end, just for doing the lessons adequately you got a certificate which was also meant to help bring car insurance down when you disclosed it, but I actually found that my first car insurance was cheaper if I did NOT disclose it!! Pretty crazy!

General tips based on what helped me:

• Find an instructor you gel with, it's okay to switch. I connected best with a calm, logical, male instructor with clear language.
• Take your time. Your future driving will benefit you if you can associate lessons with good things, versus stress. You can cancel / rearrange lessons if you need.
• You can let your instructor know that you have high sensory awareness, so it may be best to start learning on deserted roads with few distractions. Even an air field, open back road, etc. You can switch places with your instructor anytime, so they can drive you to that place and back, avoiding you driving through busier places, if you need.
• I ended up buying a car as similar to my instructor's car as I could. Not same make/model, but similar size and feel to help my confidence afterward. Helped hugely.
• I took someone with me on my first drives after passing, to help keep me calm. I missed having the safety net of an instructor with brake peddle & mirrors next to me. After that I often travelled with a teddy on the passenger seat.
• If you don't want to learn to drive, leave it. You can change your mind later, but it's your choice.
• It's possible to live without a driving licence and car. You may need to consider public transport and/or be reliant on lifts from people you know or walking/cycling, but many people love this or even prefer this way of life.
• Even if you have passed your driving test, you can still use public transport / have lifts if you don't want to drive. I do this a lot right now.

Driving and having my own car has meant everything to me. It has been my way to escape people and places at my own time. It has been worth the challenges and costs. It's my bubble where I can shout and scream, or just sit in silence while parked and the outside noises are hushed.

JohnnyBeGood said:

Also, taking my driving instructors instructions literally almost caused an accident. 

I lasted one lesson with a driving instructor - I was so uncomfortable with the instructor watching my every move and bossing me about.

I subsequently learned how to drive in paddock with a farmer friends old banger. Once I had mastered the car driving bit, I went back to an instructor for a few lessons for the road-craft and test knowledge.

Similarly, there are some driver training courses where you learn to drive, but not on public roads (race-track or dedicated training area). I did this for my motorcycle license.

Much later I enjoyed doing some advanced driver & rider training days - these really boosted my confidence to deal with emergency breaking, controlled skidding, towing, driving in snow etc.

You can split the problem into smaller chunks - there's the Highway Code bit - recognising the signs and knowing where you should be sat on the road at roundabouts etc.- you can do this at home anytime.

Next, there's the getting a car to move - there's lots of 'away from the road' driving experience places where they will teach you how the car functions - don't bother with learning manual - in a few years, all cars will be electric so no gears.     You can look around and try this out - be open and honest with them and I'm sure they'll take good care of you.

The next bit is in two halves - going out on the road as a learner - and can you deal with the stress?

With a bit of luck, the first steps will tell you if you're ready and able for going out on the roads..

I've driven for decades - and as Mycal says, it also takes 110% of my mental and physical abilities - so I'm limited in how far I can comfortably drive - depending on how bad the traffic is.

good luck!  

My biggest problem when I was learning to drive was feeling really "visible" to other drivers and vulnerable to being judged. That feeling eventually went away and I just turned out the knowledge that other people could see me. 

Also, taking my driving instructors instructions literally almost caused an accident. 

Also, I'm teaching my autistic daughter to drive at the moment. She's been very anxious about it, but we've been taking it slowly and only doing what she feels comfortable with. She's gradually gaining in confidence, and is being patient with it. 

I think you should do it. Just be patient with yourself and take small steps. You'll gain confidence as you progress. Every driver started as a rookie.