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Don't know where to go in life, lonely.

Chimes

Hi everyone, I'm Jordan and 28 years old and suffer with Aspergers, Depression, OCD, Anxiety, Social Anxiety. I haven't had any friends since I was in secondary school, never had a girlfriend or been dating and don't work.

I live with my mum and brother and even though i'm with them, I feel very lonely, my mum and brother have their lives and friends and I've just spent most of the last few years at home doing nothing, going nowhere and I'm getting sick of it.

I just don't know what to do. I know people say get yourself out there, but the social anxiety which makes it really difficult for me to meet new people. I have a few interests and can't find anything to meet people who have the same interests.

Just feel I've wasted my 20's, never went to uni cause my anxiety meant i didn't finish college. My brother went to uni and made friends for life there and even though it was hard work, he graduated and I just feel jealous that my stupid brain didn't allow me to do that.

I'll stop babbling on, basically I'm stuck in my life and need help, don't know where to go with my life anymore and have friends or partner do enjoy stuff with.

Parents

  • If the social anxiety is what is preventing you from getting out and meeting people then maybe the social anxiety is what you need to try and target in terms of trying to improve your mental health. It's definitely much easier said than done when you have a fear of how the world is going to perceive you. I personally find books or audiobooks on the subject of confidence to be beneficial, but some methods will work for some people and different methods will work for others. 

    What kinds of things does your brain tell you when you think about going out? Maybe considering some logical responses that counter those thoughts would help.

  • in reply to KJ

    A few things, rejection, that i'm not good enough for anyone to talk to, why would anyone want to talk to me, im boring and weird

  • in reply to Chimes

    Ah, yes! Classics that I am familiar with and have come out on the other side of. What's wrong with being weird? Being weird is great. I'm weird too. I'm sure many people here have also been regarded as such. Boring? Well, I'm sure you're just selling yourself short. What makes you think that you're boring?

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  • in reply to Chimes

    Ah, yes! Classics that I am familiar with and have come out on the other side of. What's wrong with being weird? Being weird is great. I'm weird too. I'm sure many people here have also been regarded as such. Boring? Well, I'm sure you're just selling yourself short. What makes you think that you're boring?

Children
  • in reply to Chimes

    The lack of being your real self sounds like it probably comes from fear, which can be worked on through reconsidering how you see yourself. There's nothing wrong with struggling in life either. It doesn't make you any less of a person. It just means it'll take you a little longer than most to reach the same stage. I'm currently there myself. I also think it's common for those on the spectrum to bumble on about the things that they themselves are interested in. I've accidentally given people hours long lectures on The Sims before - lol

  • in reply to KJ

    I do nothing with my life, tend to go on too much about things and because of my social anxiety i'm very shy and quiet and can't be my real self