Apparently I cannot possibly have Autism because...

I totally empathise with the concept of 'having a reason that I am different' - I had been extremely unwilling to simply accept that lots of therapies and self-help strategies were never going to work on me; I didn't want to unfixable. It turns out that I am very good at masking and mimicry and didn't have a clue that all my energy was being used up by 'faking being neurotypical'.

I hope you can get an assessment in the pipeline. While you wait, might I suggest concentrating on the 'Neurobeatitful' concept, strengths and abilities - and what tools you already have to get by in life.

I strongly disagree with the 'disability/deficiency model' which is what the assessment will focus on, it is really damaging to put all your effort in to what you can't do and where and why you fail.

I recommend having a read of "Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults" by Dr Luke Beardon

Around page 88 there is the following:

Always worth doing this test on your own...

www.aspergerstestsite.com/

Request a questionairre, preferably with another Doctor. What he has said is true of some people with autism, but not all. 

It took me a long time to get a diagnosis and I had one GP say the same sort of crap about how everyone has autistic traits and is on the spectrum and there's no way to diagnose it, utter crap.

I took an online Aspergers test, scored quite high, was having all the problems we all know about to a greater or lesser extent, so went to my G.P. He treated me thought like I was trying to pull a fast one, quoted much the same things to me too.

The fact is, this is a crippling condition (in this society at any rate) and you either fight it tooth and bloody nail or you go under as a child.. 

As for the social side of things, dating etc. you are playing on a badly tilted playing field already, even if you don't know you are Autistic (like I was for over a half century). Whilst I didn't know I was Autistic I could see that everyone else seemed to have an advantage in understanding, so I went out and bought me a book that explained a lot about how the NT's "think". (I've mentioned it at least twice already, so some will be a bit annoyed perhaps to see me quote it again, but this is a different thread with (mostly) different people so "Games People Play" by Eric Berne, is the name of it) 

The important thing to remember is that whilst getting to share intimacy (whether sexual or other) is scary, so is flying an aeroplane until you've got a bit of practice under your belt... And Autism need not prevent a body from doing either activity, after a period of suitable training. 

Just because you have Autism does not mean you are damaged goods, it's more like you just have been shipped without the industry standard interface... But unless you find a way to put yourself out there, you'll miss out an awful lot. 

It took me 2 years from the time of being referred for diagnosis to actually receiving my official diagnosis. Often, just getting the clarity and understanding yourself better through diagnosis can give you more confidence and peace of mind in who you are. At least, that's what happened for me. 

I definitely think it's worth taking it up with the GP you know and you can even explain that you just don't feel like you were heard properly. You can reiterate that you wish to be tested for ASD because you're confused about certain aspects of yourself and your life and because people you know have said that they think you have multiple characteristics of ASD. If they try to say that it's because you didn't meet the checklist criteria for being put forward for referral, say that because autism affects everyone differently, those boxes might not be accurate for absolutely everyone with ASD and that only the specialists can really make that official diagnosis through a formal assessment. If you are okay waiting a couple of years for an official assessment and verdict, I'd say it's worth it.

The time in limbo between referral and official diagnosis can be a little daunting though. I personally went through a confusing period of wondering who I'd be if they came back and said I didn't have ASD. Like, what if I just end up back at square 1 where I suck at various aspects of life and don't understand why I am the way I am? So, I think it's normal for you to feel confused about whether or not you may be autistic and what it would mean for you if you are or aren't on the spectrum.

Just remember that whether or not they decide that you have ASD, it's totally okay to be different to others and just be yourself in all that you are and any struggles that you may have.

I completely agree. Unfortunately it was a doctor I have never spoken to before, so I could maybe go back and ask to speak with one that I know better. I had written some points down beforehand, but most of what I said got disregarded. Perhaps if I am able to get an in-person appointment in the future I could prepare a better list of traits and how they affect me so that I can give it to them on the day rather than relying on being able to explain myself in the moment? 

I think for me personally it is more about knowing that there is a reason (maybe not the word I'm looking for?) for my feelings and gaining an understanding of myself? Just thinking that I could be autistic made me feel a bit less pressure to force myself to act like everyone else and that I might be allowed to be the way that I am and not have to make myself feel uncomfortable to fit in with how other people behave. I know that an official diagnosis is not necessary but I think it would help, especially as I am hoping to go back to university and I might be able to access additional support. 

I am currently being assessed at the local ADHD service and asked them about their autism service. She said that I have to get a referral from my GP but that the waiting list for that is less than for ADHD (I've currently been waiting about 2.5 years for that one!). I can't afford to go private right now so I'll have to keep trying other avenues if I want a diagnosis.

Ah, it drives me crackers. I've had similar issues with them over the years for more than just autism and it does make you feel lesser within yourself when you feel like you've been unfairly dismissed. I've had so many instances in the past where I've doubted myself because, if the "professional" doesn't think I have it, then surely I don't have it, right? Wrong! 

While I can accept that working in healthcare is challenging and many are doing the best they can, it's still clear that there is a significant degree of ableism within the healthcare profession that I really hope will shift in the coming years. 

It really is hard, but the only way to really get what you need is to be your own strongest advocate for yourself and fight for what you think you need and think you deserve. I don't think anyone should be left feeling like they've been unfairly pushed aside. You just have to keep trying whenever you get shut down.

Thank you so much for your reply. You've mentioned a lot of things that I thought/felt and it really helps to know others agree with me and are on my side. 

It was a doctor at my GP surgery, but not one I've ever spoken to before. My partner wants to file a complaint against them but I don't know if I should. I might ask to speak to someone else but I'm now concerned that they will have the same view. After speaking to this doctor this morning I felt so crushed and I don't know if I can go through it again. 

I didn't agree with him at all, and I thought what he was saying was extremely ignorant and outdated but he's the doctor and I didn't feel like I could correct him (especially as I am rather new to this). I've read stories from so many people with autism who work, study and have relationships and I felt so angry that he was disregarding my own experiences and theirs. I tried to argue some points but I got so jumbled and by the end I was just shaking and trying not to cry so I just let him ramble on. 

He said he was going through some required questions but it seemed very generalized and not specific to autism. I had assumed that they would use the AQ-10 or similar as I had read beforehand that that was in the guidelines but what he used mentioned things like did I feel like hurting people or have delusions? It's ridiculous that there are medical professionals out there advising people when they have no idea about what they're talking about! 

Even though it seems everyone here agrees that he was wrong, I do still feel less confident about whether I would be diagnosed. I think I might still like to pursue it as it could potentially answer a lot of questions for me but I am also worried about running into other people with views similar to his. 

Entropy said:

I booked a doctor's appointment to request a referral to a specialist... but according to this person there is no chance that I

I'm guessing this person also believes autism magically disappears at 18 - because 'it's only a childhood thing'......

I've emailed one that mentions self-referral to ask if I am counted as being in their area, fingers crossed! I might also ask to speak to a different doctor, they're usually very good there, but I'm worried they might be just as bad.

That is stupid, clearly your GP has never heard of high-functioning autism/ Asperger's. Which would be ignorant for anyone, let alone a qualified GP. That must have made you feel very invalidated. If you think you have ASD, you probably do, so go and ask to speak to a different GP.

Not an uncommon story but the big query is how much you want a formal diagnosis and what you will do with it. Will it help you at all?

High functioning autism and ASD are what Elon Musk. Einstein, Bill Gates and many bright people are

although this is the problem with these things..... all you can judge by is a persons word and stated experience.... theres really no true way to tell or to not tell whether a person is autistic that way, it would be useful instead if there was some form of way to tell by brain scan... otherwise assessments are always gonna be perhaps a little questionable

clearly the assessor is wrong. there are many autistic people with jobs and relationships and living on their own. 
although generally those things are kinda the most obvious glaring troublesome things that could be effecting a autistic persons life, but as we see many autists actually do have their life together to some degree. all in all its a spectrum with varying severity. its almost like your assessor completely doesnt care about high functioning variants but is instead more focused on the lesser functioning ones i guess?

1. All of those 'refutations' are total rubbish

2. I would suggest changing your GP straight away.

I would suggest writing a list of your traits and, importantly, how they are affecting your day to day life.

Do you have an idea of what tangible benefits you might get from a diagnosis?

There could well be a huge waiting list to get an assessment on the NHS - my self referral cost me £1300.

Who told you these things? Autism Speaks? Because all of those points are absolute rubbish. People with autism can absolutely be capable of doing all of those things. Autism affects everyone differently. Some people might struggle with things like holding down a job whereas others thrive. There are plenty of very highly successful individuals in society with autism - Elon Musk recently said on Saturday Night Live that he has Asperger's Syndrome.

If a GP has said this then they shouldn't be a GP because these are extremely harmful views that have proven to be untrue. I would even go so far as to report them for making such claims because no knowledgeable healthcare professional in 2021 should EVER be making such claims. 

Definitely see a different GP. I'm absolutely furious just reading this! I myself am a woman on the spectrum that masks enough to have been able to hold down jobs, have regular relationships, live without the need for social care and communicate effectively in certain situations. 

What you have been told is absolutely ludicrous! Don't feel disheartened. You are not the one in the wrong here - they are. You went to them to be referred for diagnosis, right? That means they themselves aren't able to diagnose you because they don't have the specialist skills and knowledge to be able to do so. I received my diagnosis back in December and my GP did a checklist questionnaire to see if I met the criteria to be put forward for diagnosis. It is my belief that this is what should have also been done for you too. 

If you believe yourself to be on the spectrum, don't give up here! Keep pushing for referral to a specialist and complain/report anyone that does not handle your request with respect and dignity or makes false assumptions. That is NOT how a professional should handle your case. OOF! 

ask for a second opinion? If the GP refuses switch to another GP surgery. Also check if your local areas diagnostic service has a self referral route.