Hello,
I am new to this forum and I just wondered if any other Aspies feel the same way.
I'm a 16 year old girl who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in November, and one of the major motivations behind getting my diagnosis was so that I may receive some help for the intense feelings of anxiety I experience. However, I have not received any help so I was wondering if, by putting a message on here, I may receive some knowledge that I'm not alone.
I have suffered with anxiety all my life. My anxiety often shows up in the form of irrational fears such as of illness when in fact I have no health issues, my parents dying suddenly when I know that there is but a miniscule chance of this - and though I know the fears are irrational, I cannot be reassured by anyone, even my parents who I trust. I also do not prioritise my fears correctly. For example, I will worry about a random matter such as dying of a brain tumour having had no symptoms, but not give a second thought to my GCSE exams which are taking place in three short months. Reading this almost makes me laugh and I'm thinking, "People will read this and think you're an idiot," but no problem is unique. I'm hoping someone out there shares my experiences.
Recently, my anxiety was uncomfortable to live with but bearable. However, it has seems to have taken a turn for the worse. I constantly check on the whereabouts of my family even when I know they are safe in the house, ask for constant reassurance which I know I won't believe and "meltdown" more or less every day. I am constantly terrified and this is impacting upon my relationship with food - I often eat as a way to deal with negative emotions - and my sleep pattern. Going to bed is the most difficult time of the day for me as my thoughts seem to swirl around in the darkness and taunt me. My life has taken on a new bleakness - I didn't have much in my life to start with but I'd rather live a lonely life than one of constant fear.
I'm really not sure where to turn next. I'm hoping all this is normal for Aspies, I'm sure it is, and that's what I want to hear. Dealing with it comes later. I just don't want to be alone anymore.
Thanks for reading,
Liv
