where do i go from here..

hi, new user here, I haven't had much luck with forums before, hoping this time it will be different.

I am a 24, soon-to-be, 25, year old man with autism, dyspraxia and possible dyscalculia. I'm from England.

I've been a computer addict for as long as I can remember and it was only just recently that I finally started to outgrow it and decided to fix my life.
I tried to kick the habit for years, I made some progress but it was never permanent and I would always fall back under.

The problem is I have been in receipt of DLA and ESA ever since I was 16? All because I was heavily addicted to the computer and I constantly turned down work and college opportunities after I left school. In the end, I was put on benefits but I believe I am capable of so much more and do not want it to be this way.


Now here's the thing, many people would dream for an early retirement but not me, I actually want something to make something with my life. I'm so unbelievably bored and feel so worthless right now. I literally just sit on the sofa all day now thinking about how life could have been different and waiting to hear good news but it never comes... You see,


Pretty much all of my social relationships were online since I left school, except for my small family. Unfortunately, these online relationships were holding me back so I had no choice but to cut contacts with them and ever since then I have become really sad and lonely. My plan was to go to college and make real life friends but at age 25, this was not going to be easy. I looked into specialist colleges as an alternative, enquired in a couple, was really excited because this really appealed to me but then received the news that in order to attend specialist colleges you have to be on EHCP, which is ceased after 25. I was really put down after this... If only I had kicked this habit years ago at age 18 after I finished school, or even 20, then I might have been fine. I never made this much effort before and now that I have, nothing is going how I wanted it to ! I really feel like this is my last chance at life, what do I do?

The only person I had to talk to online about my life, got fed up with me and cut contacts with me.
Now I have no one to talk to and I feel like I'm about to fall into depression.

I know what I want to do I just don't know how I'm going to achieve it.

I could have written this a bit better but my current mood isn't allowing me to.

Ask me anything you want.

Thanks..

Parents
  • Have you spoken to any mainstream colleges? It's been a few years since I was a mature student at college but they always had SEN specialists on staff to help students with any special needs they may have had, be they physical, neurological or whatever. It might be worth seeing if you can get an appointment with a few decent colleges to talk about their SEN programs?  Then there's always home learning as well, have you thought about the Open University? They have a SEN program too, and you can apply for a student loan to fund it, which doesn't have to be paid back until you're earning over a certain amount (it's over £20,000, I know, but I can't remember the exact figure), once/if you reach the threshold and have to start paying it back, it's only a small monthly amount. You don't need certain A level grades either, if you don't have the knowledge in a subject you want to study, they do foundation courses. Don't feel you're too late, it's never too late! A friend of mine started University at the age of 52 and now, at age 65, she's a professor at a University. But as Daniel said, don't get hung up on what you think you *should* be achieving at your age. Concentrate on what makes you happy. 

  • Do you know if it's possible to apply for a student loan if you're on income related ESA and DLA? I am considering enrolling in a course at the open university. Thanks!

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