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where do i go from here..

wmv

hi, new user here, I haven't had much luck with forums before, hoping this time it will be different.

I am a 24, soon-to-be, 25, year old man with autism, dyspraxia and possible dyscalculia. I'm from England.

I've been a computer addict for as long as I can remember and it was only just recently that I finally started to outgrow it and decided to fix my life.
I tried to kick the habit for years, I made some progress but it was never permanent and I would always fall back under.

The problem is I have been in receipt of DLA and ESA ever since I was 16? All because I was heavily addicted to the computer and I constantly turned down work and college opportunities after I left school. In the end, I was put on benefits but I believe I am capable of so much more and do not want it to be this way.


Now here's the thing, many people would dream for an early retirement but not me, I actually want something to make something with my life. I'm so unbelievably bored and feel so worthless right now. I literally just sit on the sofa all day now thinking about how life could have been different and waiting to hear good news but it never comes... You see,


Pretty much all of my social relationships were online since I left school, except for my small family. Unfortunately, these online relationships were holding me back so I had no choice but to cut contacts with them and ever since then I have become really sad and lonely. My plan was to go to college and make real life friends but at age 25, this was not going to be easy. I looked into specialist colleges as an alternative, enquired in a couple, was really excited because this really appealed to me but then received the news that in order to attend specialist colleges you have to be on EHCP, which is ceased after 25. I was really put down after this... If only I had kicked this habit years ago at age 18 after I finished school, or even 20, then I might have been fine. I never made this much effort before and now that I have, nothing is going how I wanted it to ! I really feel like this is my last chance at life, what do I do?

The only person I had to talk to online about my life, got fed up with me and cut contacts with me.
Now I have no one to talk to and I feel like I'm about to fall into depression.

I know what I want to do I just don't know how I'm going to achieve it.

I could have written this a bit better but my current mood isn't allowing me to.

Ask me anything you want.

Thanks..

Parents

  • 25 is still incredibly young. I'm almost double your age & in a similar position. What exactly is it you want to do at college & what, if any, qualifications do you have already? There is the possibility of student loans, discounts, bursaries etc if you actually know what you want to do. Plus there is always apprenticeships too. If you give us an idea of what you want to do then maybe somebody can advise better.

  • in reply to Trei

    Qualifications, uhm, like 1 or 2 gcse's and the rest btecs, entry levels etc. So not good I guess. My strongest subject was ICT, surprise surprise. 

    I am good at some things, mostly computer related. I'll paste a chunk out of a college enquiry I made recently that will tell you a bit more about me and my strengths and goals.

    I know what I want to do now - I just need help achieving it. The course I had decided to take was a Level 1 course on ICT and Business at . I had planned to take that and then progress onto the Level 2 and finally level 3 where I would take a tough final exam on CompTIA A+ and hopefully land myself a decent paying job.


    I spent the years I should have been learning, on the computer, mostly playing a pointless video game but that’s not to say I did not learn anything at all. Needless to say, I excelled at the computer. My writing and speaking improved tremendously as well as my team work. I acquired the speaking and team work skills from playing games and talking to people online.

    These past few years I finally began to outgrow gaming and started to focus on honing my existing skills. These being, VFX, GFX and a basic programming language (a game specific variant of C++ I guess you could say). I then went even further and purchased a few discounted courses on Udemy, one being CompTIA and the others PowerShell and Music Theory. I would be doing really well, making my own music and building 2 computers from scratch! I had almost completed the courses and then… procrastination kicked in and I would go back to my game. I would even try and be fair to myself by doing the famous Pomodoro technique so I wouldn’t tire myself out but this happened every single time I tried to continue where I left off or start on something new. I really do feel like I need to be away from distractions and in an actual learning environment if I’m ever going to have a chance at succeeding. Distraction, paired with motivation seem to be my 2 biggest enemies and I am determined to take them down.

    I also have a new found passion for cooking. Not sure what I would rate myself but I can make things such as burgers with cheese, bacon, caramelized onions and chips! I considered cooking as a career path (I did volunteer at a local café kitchen for around a year) but realistically getting a job in IT was more feasible due to having prior self-taught experience. Furthermore, working in a kitchen can be a stressful environment, which for me, would be a night mare because I can’t stand large groups of people and can’t take in too much information at once. So, I think I’ll keep it as a hobby. Plus, I think IT is in high demand right now anyway.

Reply
  • in reply to Trei

    Qualifications, uhm, like 1 or 2 gcse's and the rest btecs, entry levels etc. So not good I guess. My strongest subject was ICT, surprise surprise. 

    I am good at some things, mostly computer related. I'll paste a chunk out of a college enquiry I made recently that will tell you a bit more about me and my strengths and goals.

    I know what I want to do now - I just need help achieving it. The course I had decided to take was a Level 1 course on ICT and Business at . I had planned to take that and then progress onto the Level 2 and finally level 3 where I would take a tough final exam on CompTIA A+ and hopefully land myself a decent paying job.


    I spent the years I should have been learning, on the computer, mostly playing a pointless video game but that’s not to say I did not learn anything at all. Needless to say, I excelled at the computer. My writing and speaking improved tremendously as well as my team work. I acquired the speaking and team work skills from playing games and talking to people online.

    These past few years I finally began to outgrow gaming and started to focus on honing my existing skills. These being, VFX, GFX and a basic programming language (a game specific variant of C++ I guess you could say). I then went even further and purchased a few discounted courses on Udemy, one being CompTIA and the others PowerShell and Music Theory. I would be doing really well, making my own music and building 2 computers from scratch! I had almost completed the courses and then… procrastination kicked in and I would go back to my game. I would even try and be fair to myself by doing the famous Pomodoro technique so I wouldn’t tire myself out but this happened every single time I tried to continue where I left off or start on something new. I really do feel like I need to be away from distractions and in an actual learning environment if I’m ever going to have a chance at succeeding. Distraction, paired with motivation seem to be my 2 biggest enemies and I am determined to take them down.

    I also have a new found passion for cooking. Not sure what I would rate myself but I can make things such as burgers with cheese, bacon, caramelized onions and chips! I considered cooking as a career path (I did volunteer at a local café kitchen for around a year) but realistically getting a job in IT was more feasible due to having prior self-taught experience. Furthermore, working in a kitchen can be a stressful environment, which for me, would be a night mare because I can’t stand large groups of people and can’t take in too much information at once. So, I think I’ll keep it as a hobby. Plus, I think IT is in high demand right now anyway.

Children
  • in reply to wmv

    I just had a word with my husband, who works in IT. He has previously taken on apprentices & had autistic staff. Currently, they are not taking on apprentices, but if they were he would be prepared to take on somebody with an aptitude for IT & keen to learn, even without actual qualifications. So there are some understanding bosses out there. I appreciate you wanting to be within a proper learning setting like a college though. 

    I really don't think that you need to start at level 1. You sound more capable than that. You could start at level 2, or possibly even level 3 & if you need additional GCSE's you could study those alongside your course. With your ASD diagnosis, college should still make reasonable adjustments for you. I had one daughter with an EHCP & one without at college, the one without an EHCP still had reasonable adjustments made. No one to one support, but she was able to complete her course. Once you get to uni level you can get disabled students allowance. I'd look into realistic options in your area. You can do this!