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New, think I should of Knew?

Dale

I have no idea where to start...

After some arguments recently with some friends and family, its become rather clear to me that I may be autistic!?

I have spoken to my local GP practice, it was a phone call appointment, this made me feel a lot better as face to face i can loose my track, but on the phone i can take those few seconds without feeling like I'm being watched and pressured into communicating. it was a bit of a mixed phone call as I said what I was calling for and the GP seemed a little combatant to accept an adult would need an assessment, but I stood my ground and argued my point and they admitted that they didn't know much about ASD and would have to talk to the practice lead and get back to me.

2 Days later i had a quick call back from the same, but much more mindful about what she was saying and explained that the lead wasn't in until next week and would it be ok? as I usually find difficult conversations... difficult it was a yes. long wait of almost 2 weeks has gone, I don't like confrontation and don't like to feel I'm bothering people, even Drs, so I have medical problems they say will go away, still years later.  Today I received a text message from the GP, apologising for the long wait and that she has sent me a AQ10 to complete  and return to the practice if i want to continue with the referral. i do want to continue with the referral, i hope that it answers some questions iv had and others have, i also hope that it helps explain some things from my past and line a few things.

I hope that those on here can help with the next steps? I don't need to know what a AQ10 is or any of the other "tests", its more what types of answers do they want me to have? do they want to know what issues i have to the detail? iv have never considered myself as Autistic until recently, so I haven't had that much time to understand how my behaviours could be considered to be Autistic traits. i know i have always had trouble with social situations, I feel pain when i have to make eye contact with anyone and will force myself to do this when i know its important like job interviews or to seem confident about something. I cant keep conversations going and it tends to be me talking at people, but at the same time i think i am good at reading social cues but i might not be.

I know I will have some of the more common traits, but not al,l or maybe none? I'm struggling to "admit" that the way I am is tied to ASD. The more i read other adults say how ASD is in their lives i see it in mine. 

Could anyone give me some examples of traits they have, triggers that make your day harder and how you cope, more specifically how ASD affects them, and advice on spotting those moments of ASD?

sorry if this is all over the place but i do tend to go on when im after advice, loads of questions come and i get very impatient.

  • You might want to look up the DSM5 diagnostic criteria. There are quite a few good youtube videos on them presented by people who've been through the process, then see how many fit you and what examples might be in your life.  They will give you clues from their lives.

    It's the sensory things which are marring my life really - I've had huge issues with my dental care with some very strong reactions to anything in my mouth and an inability to cope with the feel of my mouth after they extracted teeth.  It was pushing me into some awful melt downs.  I think folks thought I was just being histrionic - and indeed, I couldn't understand why this was happening to me, until I found the NAS descriptor of a melt down and then juxtaposed my current issues to my child hood refusal to be hugged, severely restricted diet, inability to ride a bike or do anything in sport, the Irlen tint on my specs I need because I can't filter the light spectrum etc.  That's the sort of thing they'd want to know about in that domain...

    Remember, even if you don't fit all of them, you might still be autistic, or perhaps sub-spectrum but with some significant traits, which you might find useful to understand.

  • in reply to M

    Thank you, watched a few of these lastnight

  • in reply to aidie

    Can make a list of both of those easy, don't know if my dad would consider it, I have not mentioned this to him yet, and I don't speak to my mum.

    Thank you again

  • in reply to Dale

    ok u need to have a list of these people ready. its good evidence that you are autistic ---- ideally it would be better if there was an definite diagnosis but  still make a list of what u know and hand it over to your assessors.

    did someone say u are autistic ?. 

    make another list of people who say that they think u are weird/autistic/ADHD/eccentric

    and give it to your assessors..... the key ones are your mum / dad / anyone who helped raise you / with u a lot when u where young 

  • in reply to aidie

    that i know of, my younger brother was adopted and has a few issues, maybe, but is defiantly on the spectrum. and my 2 eldest children are both awaiting assessment for asd and adhd

  • in reply to aidie

    thank you, i have read so many of these online and iv taken a few different test online (that i know cant always be trusted) and i know i have enough traits but i just dont see it. but at the same time i can pick out one thing and admit that! i read a few of the traits to my partner and she said that i have almost all of them but i argue that i dont

  • in reply to Dale

    do u have any relatives who are autistic ? 

  • in reply to M

    i hope that if i do get the diognosis then i will relax into it, more of a i dont care anymore!?

  • in reply to Dale

    You'll still mask even after having a diagnosis. Or at least I still do. Maybe less but if anything I'm more self conscious than ever to not stand out from the crowd for being weird. 

  • in reply to Dale

    I watched TED talks because I sometimes struggle to focus on reading too. I like to know things quickly.

  • in reply to DaveAsperg

    i have tried to read several books on the topic of ASD but they are so dry to read! i tried NeuroTribes and couldn't get past the intro talking about the author and the rest looked like fairy tales by the titles of the chapters. i really struggle to read books that just skirt around the facts or the point, all filler no thriller! give me facts and figures any day! why i asked for how others see there ASD being displayed, the "facts and figures" for them, sorry if thats a little blunt.

  • in reply to Dale

    the assessors will know how to talk to you so please do not worry.

    they meet people like u every day

    all u have to do is to answer their questions as honestly as u can 

    they will be able to tell if u are distressed or not 

    dont worry if u mask 

  • in reply to M

    thank you for the reply, 

    I have always felt like I don't fit in, and as you said never being my true self. i have always been help everyone else and ignore myself. i have had lots of training for autistic children but never applied that to looking at myself and I'm still finding it hard. i know now I'm being me me me but that's what i want from the replies, you you you, haha. 

    I haven't struggled with work just get board of doing the same tasks, when its work related. academically i only struggled with my English and was diagnosed with dyslexia from a young age.

    I'm not super smart like "rain man" as you say the tv / movie ideas. lockdown for me started grate as i was always labelled a loner or antisocial. it was hard when i wanted to do normal things and i couldnt! as lockdown ends I realise that i cant hold social conversation, talking to people in person again just seems like too much effort now, I coped so well messaging.

    being stuck in the house with my partner has stressed things at home and she has bought up that she thinks i need to be assessed so i can acknowledge that i have difficulties and stop trying to mask when I'm finding things difficult.

    I'm just worrying that I will get my assessment and just go into auto pilot and mask everything or answer the questions how I think it should be, not how I feel. and at the same time i know i need to relax!

    when it comes to speaking to professional i loose my words, anxiety goes through the roof and I either go quiet or just ramble on and never get to my point lol

  • Read an educationist book eg Neurotribes and the posts on here. 

  • You don't need to have all the traits. It is a spectrum and we are all different, not just in our neurodivergence but in more general terms too. 

    I have struggled for my entire life with anxiety. During the pandemic in my little restricted bubble is the first time I've felt consistently relaxed. Despite having a job with a lot of responsibilities, I still get anxious about the mundane tasks at home. For example, I need a boarding kennel for my dog in August and can I bring myself to ring any?! No. I realised that I perform different roles with different people to cope with the demands I'm faced with with them. I rarely feel truly genuine in who I am being. It was realising how well I functioned with a smaller world and a more repetitive routine that made me return to information about autism, as I'd had some awareness training at work a while back and had some thoughts of relating to the other autistic people, but at the same time none of them were like me, in that they were struggling academically or with work due to learning disability. I also didn't feel like the super intelligent types we see in films and TV either so I just didn't realise there was this whole middle ground of people like me.