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Should I give a tip-sheet to colleagues?

rox4brains

I just tried an experiment today that I hope will make my work life easier and more productive, but could actually end up causing me more problems. I was only diagnosed a year ago (I'm female and 53) and so am new to "coming out" about my autism. I do tend to tell people now, but find that doesn't really make any difference, because it's too vague. There's no concrete explanation of what autism means in my case.

Anyway, at the end of an e-mail to two colleagues, I included the text highlighted below. I wondered whether anyone else had tried something like this, whether it worked, and whether there were any unfortunate consequences!

Thanks!

One last thing. Since we’re going to be working together closely, I thought I’d just give you a few tips on working with me (and my version of autism/aspergers… everyone is different!) that might help you and stop you feeling frustrated.
  • Be direct. I don’t pick up on social cues very well and can be very poor at reading between the lines (at least when speaking… I’m much better in writing!) Don’t expect me to understand something that you haven’t explicitly said.
  • If I’m talking too much (almost always!) or being irrelevant, just attract my attention, make clear that you have something to say (or want to move on), and I will make sure to stop talking and listen.
  • It sometimes takes me a while to process information. If we’re having a disagreement, this may come across as me not listening or ignoring a point you have made. The truth is, I do listen and I do change my mind, it just may take several minutes (or longer).
  • I don’t mind being overruled, but what really makes me anxious is when people are personally offended that I disagreed with them in the first place. I won’t hold a grudge, but I also need to know that you won’t.
  • One of the things that people find most frustrating about me is that I find it hard to trust things I don’t understand. Some people take this as disrespect: that I don’t trust them enough to just believe them. It really isn’t that. It’s just that my brain can’t use information I don’t sufficiently understand. That means I may need you to explain something that I find counter-intuitive a few times until I “get it”, which can be annoying. On the plus side, with things I do get, I can take the point and move forward very quickly.

The main thing is just to know that, even when I am being a pain in the ass (!) it’s out of concern for the project, the organisation, and the community.

Parents

  • Hi, I think that's really good. I did a similar thing recently.

    I'm 55 and was diagnosed with ASC Level 1 back in February. It was a 3 year waiting list... It was actually starting at a new company that prompted me think I was on the spectrum. Meetings and an open plan office were a big issue.

    I did think long and hard about telling people at work. After a couple of weeks I verbally disclosed to my direct manager, a colleague on the same team, and our engineering manager.

    To be honest its an engineering firm, so its an environment where its easier for someone like me to fit in! And I think my work colleague may be on the spectrum too. 

    But the engineering manager said I would need to tell HR with it being classed as a disability. So I sent the following email to HR, and copied in the engineering director (I've edited out names etc).

    The reason I put i so much detail was I wanted to be able to give people something to use and work with in order to improve my situation. Otherwise what can they do? It's not helpful to just tell people I'm Autistic as they won't know what to do with that information.

    I got an immediate reply from the director thanking me for my "frank and open honesty", saying I would have his full support. I got the same back from HR. The director came to have a chat to see if I needed any immediate support.

    Day to day - not a massive change work wise. My line manager still sometimes inflicts "task switches" on me which really winds me up. But I'm getting better at resisting it and pointing it out as an issue. And he did tell me to do that.

    Hi xxxxx,

    I’m emailing to make HR aware that I have recently been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Condition, Level 1 (also referred to as Asperger’s, although this term is no longer used in a formal diagnosis). From a legal aspect as you will likely be aware this is classed as a disability.

    I’ve attached a copy of the letter confirming diagnosis – this is effectively a repeat of the front page of the full diagnostic report passed on to my doctor.

    From a practical point of view, I’m sure most people who work with me have had their suspicions over the years that I was on the spectrum, as it’s apparently more common among Engineers!

    I do see the diagnosis as a positive thing, as it enables me to put my life experiences in perspective and better understand my behaviour and reactions to a “neurotypical” world.

    Everyone with Autism is different in how it manifests, so the way it affects me is as follows:

    1) I cannot “filter” out sound which might convey information or meaning, e.g. surrounding conversation or random noise, footsteps, phones ringing. Any time I’m subjected to this it will very likely destroy all ability to concentrate.
    But on the flip side, regular or repeated noise (e.g. from machinery, fans, aircon) which is not something potentially demanding my attention, I’m able to deal with fine.

    Working in Open Plan office environment can be very difficult for me, and this is why I was amenable to relocating from the Engineering Office to Unit 8 test area.

    2) I often cannot detect the undertone of spoken conversation in a group. One to one conversation I am generally ok with.
    3) I cannot tolerate heat very well, as I cannot easily regulate my body temperature.
    4) Conversation simultaneously with 3 or more people can be a struggle as I have to consciously focus on one at a time.
    5) Sudden task switching or change is difficult for me. This includes for example having to respond to verbal instructions while I’m busy with something. Mentally this feels like my thoughts are glued to whatever I am doing – it can become all encompassing - and these need to be unpeeled first before I have any mental capacity to deal with anything else.
    6) I can be clumsy and this gets worse if tired or distracted.

    On the positive side there are useful qualities that I do feel I bring to my work:

    1) I am capable of picking things up quickly
    2) I can visualise systems and information flow easily
    3) I am capable of intense concentration and focus for long periods
    4) I am good at spotting detail, mistakes, differences in patterns
    5) I can be consistent and follow instructions to the letter
    6) Sometimes I can have insights to see links between seemingly unrelated systems

    Over the years this has proved particularly helpful when coding and debugging !

    To get the best quality work from me:

    1) Please try to give me plenty warning of any change. I’m not averse to change, but I do need a little more time to process it.
    2) It is easier for me to deal with verbal instructions if they are backed up with written ones. Or for example if I can confirm verbal instructions back by email.
    3) Allow me a distraction free space to work !!

    - I do appreciate however this is not always possible.

    People with Autism generally have a highly developed startle response and are in an almost continual state of anxiety. A lot of this is because we trying to consciously process the information coming in from all around us and pre-empt all the what-ifs and potential responses. Sometimes if there is too much going on we feel pushed over the edge and overwhelmed. This may manifest as snapping back unintentionally, or suddenly going quiet, or taking a long time to answer a question. This is a condition I cannot tune out, unlearn, or recover from.

    I’ve disclosed my diagnosis to xxxxx, xxxx and xxxx, all of whom I work with directly. I think we have a good working relationship. I feel we understand each other well enough such that I don’t see a need for adjustments to my current work environment or the way I am managed. Personally I feel I work well here and get on with everyone.

    I’m certainly open to more discussion about any of this, but I wanted to email you initially as I felt more comfortable disclosing this way.

  • in reply to nigel
    nigel said:
    It's not helpful to just tell people I'm Autistic as they won't know what to do with that information.

    This is what I'm facing. I didn't forsee just telling people I'm on the spectrum is not enough.

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