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Should I refer myself for an assessment? + Impostor syndrome + what to say to my parents?

NAS73035

Hi there, everyone. I'm sorry if this post isn't permitted - I'm not an adult yet but I will be in a month from now, and so I wondered if it was worth self referring to the Tower Hamlets Autism service run in collaboration with the National Autistic Society.

The reason why I want to self refer is because I looked widely into autism traits in women for the past 5 months, looked at the DSM-5 for autism and its many comorbidities, and concluded that this just fits. I don't know how exactly to explain it, but it explained things such as my aversion to so many foods, my gastrointestinal issues, my hyper-fixation on a lot of things and how part of me enjoys socialising at times but afterwards I just need a lot of time to recover. I don't know if this is allowed but I actually made a document listing my symptoms in accordance to the DSM-5 along with comorbidities I think I may have that I also think are worth looking into. I can PM it to anyone who would do me the honour of reading it.

This brings me onto the main part of my post. I want to self refer for an autism assessment. Throughout all my time in CAMHS and going in and out of psychiatrist's offices, GPs and hospitals, I never felt like the words I was being given helped. CBT didn't do very much for me - I actually completed the course on my own while my therapist was on leave, and she complimented me saying I did all her work for her, but I didn't feel any better. I also did CBT for my OCD with my current therapist, and I appreciated the sentiment but it didn't necessarily alter any cognitions I had. If anything, I just doubled down on my analysis and broke down more. I feel like unless I don't try something else, I might stay in a strange state of not understanding myself forever when this is the closest I've gotten.

However, my therapist doesn't want to refer me. She thinks that because I show good social reciprocity and I make eye contact, I can't possibly be autistic. So she ended the conversation there very quickly. I understand, but at the same time I want to push more. But at any rate, my CAMHS time is nearly up as I turn 18 a month from now, so I was considering a self referral to the Tower Hamlets autism service. I would just like to know if anyone has had any experience with this system, or with the NHS in general, and if it is worth going, especially with some GPs and the outdated views on autism in women? Anything I can say to my parents that will convince them will also be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much to anyone who reads this.

Parents

  • Hi, If you do not feel comfortable contacting your GP, you could also try contacting Sara Heath: https://www.shropshireautonomy.co.uk/autonomyplus/pre-diagnostic . She offers pre-diagnostic assessments- she will write a report summarising her findings and opinion at the end. If she believes you are autistic she can arrange for you to see a psychiatrist experienced in diagnosing ASD, who will be able to undertake an assessment (if you consent he will have access to her report). I was diagnosed through Sara and I had a very positive experience- Sara has a lot of experience and it also felt good to finally talk to someone that understood my struggles and how I was feeling. I was abroad at the time and unlikely to ever make it to the end of any waiting list as I was moving country too much. I just wanted to know if I could be autistic and I hadn't even realised that seeing Sarah could act as a first step to getting a formal diagnosis in the UK. I've now moved back to the UK and I have now been formally diagnosed. Alternatively you could try taking your list to the GP and see if you can get referred for an assessment. The advantage of seeing Sara is that the wait is less long. 

    Sadly it is very common for autistic people to receive many other diagnoses before anyone realises that they are autistic. I felt like I was collecting diagnoses at some point though I often felt like many of them didn't quite fit and I felt like noone could really help or understand me- I saw so many mental health professionals and even spent 8 weeks inpatient and noone realised I could be autistic . For me it took a dietitian to suggest that I could be autistic and once I started researching autism it made a lot of sense (and other professionals also agreed once it was pointed out to them). I am still confused why noone picked up on it sooner. So I wouldn't let myself be put off from getting an assessment just because you have other diagnoses and because your mental health professionals have not picked up on it. 

    I hope you manage to get an assessment. It is a huge thing- I am still getting to terms with it but I would say overall for me it was good to know I am autistic, though it is also very confusing and overwhelming. 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    I just realised I’m going to have to pay myself as well…how much was your pre-diagnostic assessment? Curious to see the cost of prices. 

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