Binge eating

Yup, I fit into the emotive eater's category too, though I have to admit that is getting a little better for me now I'm controlling the ADHD a little more, I think I chase the dopamine, and foods, especially sweet ones do that for me. I have an IBD and I do awful things to my body sometimes its why I'm so eager to try and correct matters.

Its less cake with me and more chocolate but if its sweet and I'm not in a good mood ill give it a go, its actually the only part of my diet I'm not picky about. If I'm having a bad time I basically eat just beige and sweet. 

M said:

Also, I work for the NHS but I'm still just anxious about being needy. I'm on a 12 month contract and I really want it to be extended at the end of it so I want to be as ordinary as possible. Probably not helping myself.

Fair enough if that's what makes you feel comfortable right now, I know what its like to be under the dreaded contract end date. if it was me id probably take that first year to think about what I would like changing if I got kept on and if it gets renewed approach them then and explain, at that point they should know your work ethic and value or they wouldn't have kept you.

So pleased I'm not the only one !!!!!  I've not been too bad today - only four digestives after getting back from meeting a friend I've not seen for ages and that was all I could find - I must make a cake later.  But its just as well as I ate so much on Sunday after feeling stressed ...that I've been feeling really ill ever since: IBS playing up, heartburn, reflux, bloating etc - I just do not learn!

I've eaten a quarter of a huge lemon drizzle loaf today and I'd probably have eaten more if there was any of it left... 

I'm an emotional eater too. In fact, I've been anxious today so that may explain my cake consumption. Not that I need an excuse! It was pleasurable whilst it was in my mouth but now I feel bad. I'm not a restrictive eater either. I think my family made me have a boring and repetitive diet as a child and so I need the complete opposite of that now, though I do have certain "go to" things. I also like to always order the same meals in restaurants once I've tried something once and know what I am going to be getting. I don't like to risk the disappointment of trying something new. I think I'm good at trying new recipes though because I know what flavours I like so different variations of the same flavours or textures is almost guaranteed to please me. 

I too struggle.  I like eating and over eating.  I dont think I have a restrictive diet but if I think about it I dont eat meat, prefer dry food ...say veggie pie, salmon etc over a runny liquid casserole or soup.  I am obsessed with bread and cake.  I make bread every week ..and cake, I like to eat both daily ...with a pot of tea.  I have been a size 20 and a size 10 (but I only got that low when i had dreadful pain with gallstones if I ate anything with fat in it).  But mostly I fluctuate at a size 16.  I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm stressed, I eat when I'm anxious and upset!! Eating food makes me feel better.  

I also struggle with spending money ...and feel bad as I dont currently earn....ebay is my biggest habit, buying anything - usually books from the 1940s/1950s... its my hobby and I see things and cant help myself, so shameful !!! I said on another post that I flit about with hobbies/things I google and ebay books will pop through the door and take me by surprise as I've moved on to somethign else !!! Well 1940s aside that is !!!  

Also, I work for the NHS but I'm still just anxious about being needy. I'm on a 12 month contract and I really want it to be extended at the end of it so I want to be as ordinary as possible. Probably not helping myself. 

Thank you for sharing that. I am glad it isnt just me who needs to resort to giving someone else control of all the money. I do just repeatedly end up putting us into debt so it does need to change. Food and knitting supplies just sound like a silly thing to have excessive spending over. When I've got my budget I'm going to include takeaways and snacking in it and see what difference that makes to my portion control. 

So I'm fairly new to autism from this side but I was a manager, in 2 places actually, if your job is big enough to have an HR department then you should get in touch with them and ask them for help or fixing a few of the issues you have, they should be working to make accommodations and it should be them talking to people on your behalf not you running around to everyone asking for things and making you feel like the oddball. If it is not big enough for HR then it's up to the manager to be that person. At the end of the day, you have a condition that is covered under the disability regulations of the Equalities act. There are probably people who can give you better advice on that from this side of things if you wanted to throw another question up.

Regarding the money and where it's linked to your compulsion to buy, this is very very familiar to me, I didn't know I was Autistic and ADHD but I was getting myself in trouble, overspending on special interests, etc etc.

Eventually, I had a breakdown a few years back and I ended up moving back with my parents, they stuck the Bipolar label on me (mainly because they didn't bother to assess me properly) and told me I was best off not living solo. I knew money was an issue, and I needed to have less control of my money so I gave my parents control, I get a weekly amount, and it's up to me what I do with it, special interests treats, a takeaway, buy a random gift for someone, whatever but there's no way for me to do it to excess, the rest of my money sits in the bank I have no access to, my bills and food, etc all are done via my parents and the rest of my money is just saved. Some may think it's infantile but I know I can't be trusted to think in the moment and it's less stress for me, and my parents who know I cant get in trouble.

The funny thing about it is I simultaneously do all that I just described above and am the owner and in control of a reasonably sized business and can function perfectly in that regard, it doesn't make me infantile, it means I have an impairment.

Sorry, that was a lot of waffle about myself but I find it way easier to talk by example, I thought it might give you a different view of things.

Yes the new job is already somewhat posing a problem as I don't have a consistent day that I go into the office either. We are on a rota and it can be any of my working days. 

The issue is that I don't want to appear too needy or weird so I'm trying to limit how much I say about autism until people know me for me, if that makes sense. 

I've actually suggested to my husband that he begins to control all of our money except a monthly small budget for me that I can do what I want with. It sounds a bit infantile to need this but it is the only way I can think of restricting myself. I compulsively buy things around my special interest (knitting) so it isnt just food, and I really have no sense and would happily spend my bill money. Especially as I have a credit card that I am quite happy to use to cover any cash flow issues. 

On reflection, I've got an addictive type of personality if that is a real thing. Most things I enjoy I get hooked on completely. 

My Autism was discovered via my ADHD diagnosis so it was a little different. I certainly wouldn't want to appear to diagnose you but it might be worth looking at it, throwing your own routines is a common ADHD / Autism reaction I've seen people talk about but even if you don't want a diagnosis, if you think you might have it you can borrow some of the coping mechanisms people put online and see if they work for you. 

I may be in danger of telling your something entirely obvious here but if that job is new then don't underestimate the time it may take you to settle into the new routine and also, and I know this entirely depends on your job, but telling them you're autistic and need a routine for lunchtime might be a good option, it makes them aware you need that time and forces you to go the same hour each day. Like I say all of that depends entirely on you.

The buying extras thing is a big issue for me (or at least it was until I couldn't go out), I haven't found a foolproof way of dealing with it but generally, I will try to limit my access to money to curb impulse control issues and I'm hoping that when my adhd treatment comes through in a few weeks I can discuss it and find some other ways to cope. If anything interesting is shared I can drop you a message if you like?

This is very similar to my habits with food. I have a diagnosis of autism but not adhd. I'm not sure if that is something the team I was assessed by looked at as it was an adult autism team and I didnt ask if they consider alternative diagnoses. I also throw my routines out of the window a lot and then I end up feeling unwell with anxiety, but I simultaneously crave routine. I've recently started a new job and I previously liked having my lunch at 12pm every day but the new job keeps interrupting that and I don't end up eating lunch until 1pm. 

I suppose I could eat at 12pm whilst I work but that doesn't appeal to me. I like to eat away from my desk. Like you I am also working from home, although this past month with changing job I am now in a job that I can go to the office one day a week. Even when I take lunch to work I end up buying extras though. I just can't seem to stop?! 

I am with you on this one, I have a complex history with food, I vary from being very restrictive in what I eat when I'm not mentally well to having a reasonable range of foods when I'm fine, however, I struggle with it. My ADHD messes me up when it comes to impulse control if I'm buying my own food but for the last year I haven't been able to buy my own food because I couldn't go out so I'm eating a lot of processed stuff. If food is around me I tend to eat it almost on autopilot too. I also have a thing where I can't tell what I want so if I'm hungry, thirsty, tired, uncomfortable etc I struggle to know what's up so I tend to eat and drink a lot to avoid that. Unfortunately, the pandemic really has messed me up because I work from home, live and home, and never really leave home which actually was good for my mental health but terrible for my physical one.

However, since I discovered My Autism and ADHD I have managed to make some changes. I keep executive dysfunction foods in the house ready so if I just need a meal something reasonably healthy is super easy. I have found that I must eat almost as a stim if food is close because since I've kept a stim toy with me I haven't found packets of biscuits doing that thing where you eat one and the rest disappear. Also, this one is really difficult for me being ADHD (not sure your diagnosis) but I've managed to get myself in something if an eating routine, the autism loves the structure and the ADHD likes to forget about structure, hyperfocus on whatever I'm up to and ruin it, so I've got my old phone but a really annoying high pitched repetitive tone on it and set an alert to eat and I find it annoying enough to make me get up and once I'm detached from my focus I can usually go find food rather than waiting too long and wanting to eat the world.

On the subject of eating disorders I thought I had a binge eating disorder (I still might to be fair but its less likely) but when I spoke to the GP about it he said it sounds more like disordered eating from adult ADHD and turned out I had ADHD so it was pretty spot on and once the Autism became clear the restrictive eating made sense too.

Not sure if any of that helps but I hope you find a way to get to a place with food your comfortable with