• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 2302 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Masking and mimicking my friends

NAS71288

Recently I had a really big social situation, most of the friends I hang around with have started avoiding me, bringing up that it's making them uncomfortable that sometimes I'm "mimicking" or acting similar to them, and that it's like they can't be them. Thinking back, I kind of have, but I've done it completely subconciously and unaware. I read up on it and I found out about masking the other day, but I don't know how to prevent it or "unmask" in a sense. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose my friends, and I'm really lonely at the moment. 

They noted that sometimes I can copy things from virtual character looks, to tone and even expressions. I'm also slightly worried I don't really have a full sense of who I am as a person because of the masking, and because of how frequent it happens (It kind of seems like I mimic Youtubers and people I like as well). If any other people have any tips, I'd really like to hear them. I'm really struggling right now.

  • I found that masking has been a big part of my life. I'm not yet formally diagnosed, but found out towards the end of 2019 and referred last year at the beginning of the apocalypse.  I've had a lot of time to think about things, to go from happy that I'm finally understanding why I struggled, to the realisation that I've spent so much time trying to be 'normal' that I forgot to find out how to be myself.

    I was fortunate to have a chance to glimpse my own slice of happiness many years ago when I briefly worked as a costumier.  I had to give it up because I struggled and couldn't understand why. Now I know, I'm trying to put my focus on relearning all those things that made me so happy. Not only is it going to help me get back where I should be, it will also give me something to focus my attention on while I deal with the workplace I'm in at the moment.

    The only suggestion I can offer, is don't be afraid to be alone. Perhaps you can use the time to meet yourself for the first time. Perhaps you can discover that there is something you really enjoy that you haven't been able to explore because you were too focused on being part of your friendship group. Think about what makes you happy. You may surprise yourself.

  • I'm sorry to hear this. I try masking as well but I'm not very good at it, people usually see through it. When I was trying to get friends I used to try and be like them but I wasn't good at it. 

  • I don't know who I am either for the same reason. I have different individual friends and I act differently to all of them. I'm not which is my authentic self.