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Do You Embrace Autism?

Daniel

Ever since I were 2 years old the NHS has viewed me as one of the most severely disabled people in the UK. Due to this, just about everyone doubted me, and attempted to discourage me, even today the NHS themselves struggle to believe what I’ve accomplished in my life. 

I believe what has helped me make my achievements is embracing my Autism instead of suppressing it, I share my view with people and they claim they’ve never looked at it my way, shows just how effective having a different perspective and way of thinking of the world can be. 

I simply viewed Autism as an adjective instead of a disability, an adjective that describes my brain. I ask people why they view Autism as a tragedy and disability, I always get answers like “because it gives you limitations and disadvantages.” I then ask them “doesn’t every human have limitations and disadvantages?” They confess yes then I say “so isn’t humanity a disability?” They say No, I then tell them “Exactly, Autism, ADHD, Down Syndrome, Dyslexia and any other brain is part of The Human Spectrum, not a Malfunctioning Human Spectrum. I always tell them they are not “able”, they are “en-abled” and I’m “differently-abled”.

I love the positive neurological differences, and I believe it’s these differences like hyper focusing, special interests, critically detailed, awareness, not so easily driven away from my goals, concentrate for longer periods of time, perseverance and not so disturbed by what people think about me. Embracing these aspects, putting them to use is what’s helped me strive to reach my goals. I think it would be great if Autistic children could be more encouraged and taught about their strengths instead of been lead to believe Autism is only negative making them sabotage themselves.

Would you like to share what you like about your form of Autism or your child’s form of Autism and how you embrace it.

  • in reply to Daniel

    Peter is Peter who is Peter.

    I would say Peter understands Peter better than you.

    aint I correct ?

  • in reply to Peter

    Peter, 

    you’re obviously not getting it, so before accusing me of not getting things you start getting things.

    You would not have the abilities you have if you were not autistic. These abilities are part of Autism, do you deny hyper-focusing? Do you deny detail orientation? Do you deny the other gifts? 
    If you claim you have those gifts you’re telling me you embrace Autism.

    If you disagree, that’s the evidence you don’t get it.

  • in reply to Daniel
    These days I might indeed use the term autistic to explain these things to people, the point I’m making is I don’t need that word to explain it to myself. Autism can not tell me who I am. And I find myself very different from most people who wear that label openly. That may party be because those who do are undergoing periods of high stress and difficulty.
    It’s been my observation that a lot of high functioning autistic people only get their diagnosis in adulthood when they encounter serious difficulties in life. Serious difficulty’s can change a person, make them quiet or timid ... for myself I refuse to change. I intend to be the same noisy outward looking person I ever was.
    Most of the ND adults I know have settled into very insular routueen lives where they only have regular social contact with a small group of people often in a very predictable setting. A lot of them have significant others around whom their social lives revolve.
    You used to see them in night clubs, at concerts or out with 30+ people in a pub. Doing activities in big noisy groups... now they maybe have 1 activity they do religiously with the same small group of people.
    One or two have become total shut ins. They almost never see anyone other than their significant others.
    You understand what I’m saying? Autism is just a label and that cuts both ways. It brings some understanding but also miss-understanding, bias and bad stereotypes. I embrace me, the way I am. That doesn’t mean I have to embrace the paths others autistic people take in life or the expectations others have of them.
  • in reply to Trei

    Yeah! My one regret is my MH problems that have never had the right care!  Maybe I might have avoided those had someone known.  I'm hoping I can get what I need to help repair the damage now.

  • in reply to Daniel

    Agreed.  It seems to me that it isn't autism that is necessarily disabling, but the way society responds to autism. 

    It can only be hypothetical... but had some one known when I was a kid and said, 'hey, you process the world a bit differently, but let's accept that and teach you to make the most of your way of processing' that might have been empowering.  However, had they said 'hey, your processing is defective, so let's teach you how to be more like the other kids, but don't aim too high', that could have been damaging. 

    Actually, in ignorance of the existence of autism, that's effectively what did happen anyway.  One head told me it was my fault I was bullied 'because I wouldn't be like the other kids'.  Well, while those other kids got pregnant at 16, I got a degree.  Following one big melt down provoked by said bullies, this same guy also told my parents that if I'd been his kid, he'd have given me a slap!

    But, we are where we are, and I guess as I'm an adult, I'll get to choose to approach my autism anyway I want.  As a kid, I never tried to be what I obviously wasn't and it turned out OK; I found friends who love me as I am, and I've no intention of trying to be anything other than I am now.  It's nice to have an explanation now though.  It might make being true to me less hard work, I guess :-)

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I had a thought before... do you think there'll be a point in the future where one would "come out" as autistic and rather than fearing people's reaction and that they'd look down on you, they'd think "fantastic... here's a person with a different skill set or world view" . I'm thinking in terms of jobs and employment. For this to become the norm.

  • Not in my case. But I am one of the millions who went through life unrecognised, wondering what on earth was wrong/different about me without the faintest idea on how to engage with people & the world.

    Apart from being a kick-*** parent to my ASD kids, (which if I didn't have I'd have gone to my grave completely unaware) I have accomplished literally nothing but a lifetime of being treated like a leper. 

    Here I am, approaching 50, with numerous stress-related conditions, still awaiting a diagnosis.

    I suppose if you grew up knowing about it & had support or learned to use it to your advantage then I can see why you would. 

  • in reply to Dawn

    Dawn,

    The majority of Neurotypical people cause divisions among The Human Spectrum.

    Is the medical model trying to help us, or is it a selfish designed to make us live the way they want us to live while harming us in the process? 

    Those of us Autistic have the empathy to look into and try to understand the Neurotypical view, but Neurotypicals don't have the empathy to look from an Autistic view.

    We have tonnes of Autistic people hypersensitive to light and sound then Neurotypical people decide to bombard the environment with bright lights and loud noises to bestow some artificial sense of excitement in themselves not caring that they are putting Autistic people in absolute physical and unbearable pain.

    So, is it the Autism hurting those hypersensitive, or is it the selfishness of the society?

    Look from one piece of suffering to another and see it's caused by what the society does to the autistic one, Clara mentioned stuttering, what's wrong with stuttering? I don't see stuttering as a problem, but the society does.

    Autism is not the problem, the problem is the society's ignorance, intolerance and fear of diversity, so if one of us is cursed, it's the society cursed by fear of what they don't understand.

  • in reply to Clara

    Clara,

    Sorry that you feel that way, if you look at the whole picture you can see everyone has obstacles they struggle with, just because ours are less common we have to endure a few or more obstacles.

    If you look from an alternative way, you'll see it's not Autism that makes you suffer, the society's rejection and fear is what makes you suffer.  

    Try listening to this mother with 7 children with 6 been autistic even severe. She has the same idea as me of accepting not just ASD, but OCD, ADHD, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy etc. as well. That the society should stop "dis-abling" us and "en-able" us instead.

    https://youtu.be/Xts1F-PoUNA

  • I agree with your perspective. I think there should be more of a strengths based approach to autism and other forms of neurodivergence. I embrace autism as it helps with understanding myself  and also makes me perceive the world differently, with greater intensity.  Also my strengths are all related to autism, and I think  everybody has weaknesses regardless of whether they are neurotypical or neurodivergent. In my opinion, specific traits that are labelled strengths and weaknesses are just part of the overall autistic experience.

    The neurodiversity movement’s main purpose is to increase autism acceptance.

  • in reply to Clara

    I used to cut myself a lot when i was young ,it notices at this time of year because my skin is starting to tan the scars stand out . You have friends on here ,life can be very hard but things do change ,i see you are from bath ,i was born in ruh and lived in combe down for the first 9 years ,i haven't been to bath for years ,I heard they rebuilt the part near the train station probably all looks so different. I remember there used to be a good health food shop and a record shop in walcot street and you used to be able to get second hand jeans for five pounds from a shop there to.  I would like to live near there again but it is so expensive

  • in reply to Desmond79

    It's just that most schools are not set up properly ,if they where well run small mixed age classes promoting sensible social values ,educate the next generations to be good people. Teach people to be individuals playing to there strengths ,yet supporting there weaknesses .   

  • The problem i see is that for so many people they have been knocked back so much , this is what causes the problems. Growing up in the late 70's and 80's was so hard . If people were more understanding ,autism would not be a problem.

    I consider myself far more open and understanding and far more insightful than most ,i look at things from a different viewpoint ,so see things others miss.

    Yes good days and bad , but i am glad i am me and am looking forward to how things unfold and places like this are so good . A place  where you can be yourself . So all in all things are slowly improving which is good , but still a long way to go.

  • in reply to Clara

    I'm so sorry to hear how you feel, Clara. I wish I knew what to say.

    I pray you can one day find at least one good gift in the autistic package that you can value and that you find a place to love and accept yourself.

  • Bravo! Very well expressed. And an important point made.

    I'm 56 and still waiting for an assessment, with the likelihood that I am autistic all a bit of a shock to me still. But that process of preparing the developmental questionnaires has had me examine and reflect on my childhood a lot!  Funnily enough, under the "strengths" bit, both my mother and I mentioned my single mindedness to achieve even in the face of obstacles.

    Will I embrace this now? Yes, absolutely! It's making sense of my life for the first time; both the hard parts and my talents.

    I do ask myself what would have happened if I had had a diagnosis as a child. Would I have found my path easier because I could have had support? Maybe games teachers, at least, might not have shouted at me when I couldn't hit a ball with a bat.  Or, actually, might they have squashed my dreams and lowered my expectations of myself by assuming I just couldn't do stuff?

    It's impossible to know the answer, but I do wonder whether I succeeded inspite of the fact nobody knew why I was different, or because nobody knew.

  • This was such an inspiration to read, I'm glad you embrace your Autism and are at peace with yourself. By the seems of it I'm the only one but I don't embrace my Autism. I've really tried but I can't bring myself to do it. I just see so many obstacles and I can't overcome them which leads to self hatred and I hurt myself every day and that at least helps. I've no friends, I stutter, I can't walk properly and I don't understand a lot of things. For me Autism is a curse and I hate it and myself. 

  • Yes, we should embrace our Autism, but we have to cope outside our Cinematic Universe.

    There are so many Smart-Arses out there, we have to become Streetwise. Something I should have learned as a boy.

    As far as I'm concerned, School is not the right environment for kids. Those who just want to smoke and fight have their destiny determined. Therefore, they end up more successful Adults. The one's who make an effort get manipulated.

    Never go to the Jungle without a guide.

  • in reply to Peter

    Peter,

    How exactly would you explain and describe why you can do things that others are not and never will be capable of? 

    How will you explain why there's certain areas in life you struggle with but others don't seem to?

    If someone asked you "why can you focus for so long?" what would you say?

    Introversion is a stereotype and people become introverted because the public will not accept them. If NDs can't accept neurodiversity how is the public going to do so?

  • Honestly no. I don't embrace autism as a term. I embrace me, I am more than a label. And thats all autism is, a convenient label to explain to people how I'm different from them. I think I've always known I'm different from other people, probably at least since I was old enough to know other people was a thing. I have always been the alien, the outsider. I grew up finding things others never master incredibly easy and things almost everyone masters impossibly hard. Most kids grow up thinking they are smarter than most of the adults around them but I knew it in an objective sense. I knew I could adsorb complex structured and relational information faster than them and retain it more easily. I could see patterns were they couldn't, string together chains of events to predict outcomes they couldn't. I just couldn't understand why they were mad at me so often. I never needed a word to know I'm different.

    Having the word hasn't made me feel better about myself or made others more understanding. I don't particularly feel I've found a like minded community either. I find I'm very different to most other autistic people. Most autistic people I've met are highly introverted and many of them are almost apologetic for their autism. I find this frustrating. So many of my nerdy friends from the old days used to be lively outgoing people who liked interacting in large groups. Going out, events, activities, excitement, and now they are positive home bodies. People talk about autistic support groups etc but if autistic support group means group of people who want to hide in a quiet corner because the world is too noisy I'm quite certain I'd be a bad fit.

    The truth is autism is only useful to me as a label. I've I'd had that label in education I might, just might, have been able to trade upon it to get some of the flexibility and rule bending that might have allowed me to be around more young people growing up and reach my potential faster. Autism is only useful to me now on the same basis, I know if there is a horrible cockup at work I can lean upon it to get some latitude for misunderstandings and personality clashes with colleagues, thankfully that's not been necessary in my current job. In principal I should be able to lean upon it in the same way in social services (by which I mean services designed to facilitate social interaction not government social services). A kind of oil to lubricate interactions, a piece of paper to wave at people to remind them they are dealing with a metaphorical alien. Normal is not a reasonable expectation to have. Beyond that I'm not sure it does me much good.