Has Covid made you struggle more?

Hi Agatha, I am a vet and am autistic. All the rules and regs throughout Covid have been (still are) incredibly trying. I get upset by clients refusing to keep their distance, not wearing masks, staff not adhering to the rules, you name it.  At the same time we're sadly dealing with a big upswing of verbal and online abuse from people towards all veterinary practice staff which is heart breaking to all of us who have worked so hard throughout the pandemic as we always do, to look after our patients, only to face tirades like this. And yes, I have definitely found things harder - I went to Tesco Extra at the end of a very long day a few weeks ago to get something for dinner. There were so many people there (smallish local shop), so it was hard to keep distance, music was on, there was so much noise...and then I got to the till and realised I'd left my wallet in the car. I apologised to the cashier and said I'd  have to leave it and the guy behind me in the queue kindly offered to wait while I went to get it, but the wallet was the last straw, I was about to cry and flip out, so gasped thanks but gotta go and pretty much ran out of the shop...God knows what they thought. Anyway, I thought I'd post this to say you're not alone, and also, to make a suggestion that might help you if you need to get more meds for your dog! The only reason your vets have set up the collection system they have is to reduce person to person contact. They would be horrified if they knew how stressed it was making you, I guarantee it. When you ring to pay next time, ring from home, and arrange a specific collection time that they think should be less busy. Tell them you get anxious near other people, and ask if they could bring it out to your car and leave it on the bonnet when you arrive. You don't get out to grab it until they've gone. Hey presto, you're safe in the car, they're not coming within 2 metres of you, everybody happy (happier, at least). I'm sure they'll be pleased to help. Take care, look after yourself x 

I have been struggling a bit, I was ok for the whole of 2020, But come March 2021, I was really fed up. I only leave the house once a week, I don't go into any shops, Because I struggle to wear the mask, My glasses get steamed up and even had trouble breathing and felt lightheaded. So I refused to go anywhere, I was unable to do any of my projects, Short films, documentary and all of that, It all had to be put on hold. 

I am not happy ONE BIT with the lockdowns. However, on a personal level, I learned to do things by myself. I can cope much better on my own, now.

You have two choices. Sink, or swim? I choose to swim!

you're doing well and are successfully keeping yourself Covid free ----- the lock down will be soon be over due to millions of people just like you 

your walking solution is just fine and will work so why not do it

we are all struggling with covid in some way or other you are not alone. .

as for your anxiety it is probably elevated by your anxiety but its hard to tell.  i have reduced my anxiety with a mix of relaxation techniques , breathing techniques, and meditation.  You are not too old to learn and i reckon you are certainly capable of learning new stuff.

So tackle your anxiety in small steps and gently push it down.  Create a discussion on "how to reduce anxiety" and you will get loads of suggestions

only a couple more months to go 

Feel free to ignore my reply 

Covid has actually been very good for me. The lockdowns, the roads being quiet, working from home, those things were all brilliant for me. And I'm personally not worried at all about the virus.

The only thing that has been bad is the masks. I don't like wearing one, I feel like I can't breathe with it on and I don't like the feeling of it on my face or when it brushes against my nose. For most of the time I haven't worn one, but eventually I got forced by a security guard and I had a panic attack in the supermarket because of it.

Thank you all so much for your replies - I feel much happier knowing that others struggle too !!!!   Its so comforting not to feel alone as I get tired of people telling me how "weird" I am - I feel patronised by others at times although I realise they are just being kind, but then I guess if I picture someone my age having a meltdown and panicking about things it must seem weird ...internally though I dont see myself as older, just the same anxious, awkward child that I used to be!!!  

In some ways yes- all the arrows on the floor in places makes me anxious that I'll walk the wrong way or other people will do it. I get very anxious about things being wrong. I am not anxious about covid at all. I also feel suffocated in a mask for too long and if I start thinking about it then I can't stop, which is a big distraction from things I actually need to concentrate on. 

In other ways no - my husband has less places he can ask me to go to and I don't have to make excuses to not see people as much. I've mainly worked from home which is very comfortable for me. I spend more time alone without my husband and kids and that helps me feel like I have time to not think about pleasing other people too. 

The downside though is that being enabled to isolate myself without judgement is now making it very hard to come OUT of a pandemic. 

Yeah, I've taken to breathing in a weird way to prevent glasses steaming and making me blind. Pull in the bottom jaw and breathe - has been my method. It's a bit weird and I don't feel comfortable doing that for a long time.

I've taken to wearing a hankerchief style mask as the standard masks were tighter at the bottom and had too much space either side of the nose bridge, meaning that even downwards breath ended up going straight up to the eyes.

Breath into the eyes also increases risk of dry eyes and eye infection so effective downward breathing can help with this.

My big problem has been wearing a mask because my glasses steam up.  To overcome this I've modified my breathing downwards.

I haven't had my hair cut properly for over a year.  I've been cutting it myself in the bathroom mirror and it's a mess.

Overwise it's been ok.  I'm very anti social and a recluse most of the time, so I haven't missed what other people usually do.

Overall it's been a good year for me, both financially and from a mental health point of view.

In some ways no and in other yes. No, when it comes to personal space and staying away from events with lots of people - instead of weird I am now a 'good girl', lol. And the masks, even though I don't like the feeling that I can't breathe freely, I do like that people can't see my mouth so I don't have to worry about how my facial expression (having been told a lot, even as a child / teenager that I look grumpy or unhappy, even when I don't feel that way - my mouth corners' natural position seems to be down!). But going to shops etc I am always afraid that I'll do something wrong, some rule that I've missed or temporarily forgotten (I worry about that anyway..). And I absolutely hate talking with strangers over the phone or online and of course that's all there is now. Even to get repeat prescriptions I have to call a number and leave a message, whereas before I would just drop the piece of paper into a box at the clinic (I would rather drive the half hour than phone up!) so that's a job I'm putting off as long as possible every month...

To be perfectly honest; covid has not made me struggle more.

The reaction to covid: lockdown, restrictions, very-much reduced access to friends, seeing new people and getting support certainly has led to me struggling very significantly in the last year.

Now, I'm not making judgement here on whether all the reactions were valid overall, I'm just noting that for me personally, the reaction to covid has had a significant negative effect on my own life whereas the virus itself has not.

I fully appreciate that many people have lost loved ones through the virus. Fortunately, I have not. Unfortunately, I've lost acquaintances through lockdown-related problems including suicide. And I've self-harmed like a [censored-word].

I get that, it is confusing what to do and then you get the people who don't follow the rules who just add to it.  Our Tesco had a one way system in the first lock down, I wish they kept it going it was so simple and nice not to have to try to avoid people coming the other way.

Hi Agatha,

COVID has been a nightmare.  My husband is an A&E charge nurse and I'm a medical phobe... so main reasons are different to yours, but I absolutely get what you're saying.  I've broken down a few times during the pandemic in shops trying to cope with constantly having to size up 2 metre this way and that way over and over, find the arrows and correct entrances and try to follow them.  My spatial awareness is very poor at the best of times; so bad I can't even drive a car.  Add to that the difficulties of the mask muffling sound and steaming up my glasses, I've barely got a functioning sense left to orientate myself with and the stress of "popping to the shop" has been overwhelming.  I'm 56 and I was practically that kid down on the floor in mid supermarket melt down more than once. 

You're far from stupid and not alone in this.