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Undiagnosed adult Asperger’s

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We believe my adult son , who is 35, has Asperger’s. It is probably mild, he leads a normal life, holds down a job, has friends and we, his family, are always there for him. Although he was assessed twice when he was at school nothing was done or found to be too abnormal. However, this was before any of us had even heard the term ‘Asperger’s ‘ many years ago. My concern is that I have heard that Asperger’s can be linked to depression and although he appears to lead a relatively happy life and has shown no signs of depression I am concerned that in later life this could occur. He is totally in denial of the situation and as he is very stubborn I know that this is something he would immediately dismiss. Would diagnosis do any good or could it spark other fears or the depression we fear? I would be interested in people’s views. Thanks.

  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    Thanks for your reply. He definitely does have traits of Asperger’s but his day to day life is relatively normal. However, there are things that he does want, particularly finding a partner in life, which he finds unable to do in a ‘normal’ way. Like you I believe any assessment process could do more harm than good and it is only the ‘depression in later life’ factor which I was worried about. Thanks again.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Thank you for your input. We all have big intentions of keeping a close eye on the situation.

  • It tough as a parent to worry about the things that affect your adult kids.  None of us want to see them suffer unnecessarily or miss out on valuable help. 

    That said, at 35, personally, I think all you can do is suggest it to him as a consideration if he himself had any concerns and support whatever he does or doesn't choose.  He may not have Autism, or he may not want to know or think it's worth it.  

    If he does go down that road though, and does turn out to have even sub-spectrum traits, I would gently suggest he also get a bit of follow up to understand them.  Armed with that knowledge, he may manage to protect himself major anxiety or depression.

  • If he’s getting through life OK and he’s not expressing any difficulties then what is it that’s making you think he may be autistic? It’s quite hard to answer your question without details of his traits etc. If he doesn’t need any support or have any traits that concern him or cause him daily struggles I would just let him live his life. The assessment process can be very long winded via the NHS and expensive privately it might be more hassle than it’s worth just to potentially give him a label with no difference in outcome