A significant number of folks here seem to point to poor relationships to parents, especially mothers. Some find that their mothers may have traits themselves and may not be able to recognise that there is something wrong. Others may have mothers that are over sensitive to the possibility that some thing could be wrong in case this reflects badly on them. But could it be in some cases because some have spent decades misunderstanding the intentions, feelings and motives of the parent?
For my part, after a life time of believing that my mother just didn't like me, - I'll spare you all the boring details, but I was estranged from her for many years, it was an enormous act of courage on my part to ask her for help in filling out the developmental questionnaires for assessment.
The concord and disparities between her perceptions of my childhood and mine are mind blowing! After 50 odd years, it seems that the woman I felt showed me no warmth and did not like me, was in fact constantly trying to engage me, to be warm, only to be constantly shut out by me. I would not talk to her wouldn't let her help me with anything - I still find this hard, constantly pulled away from her touch, spent ALL my time alone in my room etc, from even my very earliest years... I did that for sure, but I didn't realised she was in fact trying to show me love and understanding.
I suspect there may be a trait or two she has. She's lost when it comes to questions like 'how easy was it to know how I felt'. All she can say is she had no idea what I was feeling ever. But I also for the first time, I think there are things I could not interpret and have been getting horribly wrong all my life.
I have to say my elderly mother has been knocking herself out to come up with as many memories of my childhood behaviour as she can. Afterward she asked why they wanted these questions in particular and I explained what each of them could have to do with autism, I think the penny started to drop for her too.
I'm just wondering how common this is. Has autism, either professionally or self diagnosed, skewed other peoples relationships with their parents; blocked or warped their understanding of their parents' true feelings and attitudes toward them? Has anybody else re-evaluated what they always thought was true in light of the assessment and diagnosis process?