Doing The Things You DON’T Want To Do

I had a conversation with a support worker a couple of weeks back after there were concerns about me not doing housework as often as i should, for the reasons you mention above, i just don't care about it.  It doesn't completely answer your question, but it is somewhat related so i might as well mention it.

He was asking how i motivate myself to do chores and stuff i don't want to do.  I honestly couldn't think of an answer, i just know i have to do it, eventually, and usually at the last possible moment.  He said that 95% of people motivate themselves to do something, by thinking about and planning doing it.  Seems like a plan.  The problem is, that when we start to think about something that needs to be done, we then discover smaller steps in that process that also need to be done, and before we know it, we have this mission ahead of us with so much needing done, that we don't know where to begin and give up.

In the simple case of doing the dishes, i need to clean the sink because apparently you cant clean dishes in a dirty sink.  That means i need to find somewhere to put the stuff that is already in the sink, which means clearing some other space of something else.  This is of course only a small example of the above, but i want the dishes to be done and out of my mind as quickly as possible, i don't want to be farting about moving things to do other things to make the process perfect.

Supposedly, the best way to do something we don't want to do, is to just do it.  Don't plan to do it, don't schedule it for later, just do it.  I can tell you now, that this so far isn't working that great for me in general, not because its a bad idea, but more because i don't really think about my chores all that often unless they are right in front of me.  I have started doing the dishes more often without too much fuss, but the rest of my housework, not so much.

When lists (and unitized tasks) have failed to get me to do things, I occasionally succeed with a "10% approach"

Rather than trying to accomplish a specific task, how about saying "I am going to make this mess 10% less bad" or "I am just going to improve the situation a little bit - and that will be an accomplishment"

Sometimes that leads on to doing more than intended - sometimes it just makes thing a little bit better...

If it's a choice between doing absolutely nothing and doing a little bit of something - even if it's not the most urgent thing - at least I did something...

I am just the same as you Seanado. I would love to hear advice on doing the things I don't want to more. Looking after myself and my own house is what I neglect. I will spend hours every night reading about quantum physics and not clean or look at bills for weeks or months.

In terms of bills automating things was the best thing I could do, so I very carefully have everything set up to be paid on certain days automatically and it all manages itself - when it was up to me to do it the ball got dropped repeatedly.

Sadly there is no way for my house to just clean itself, so I have been trying to make a particular time on a particular day when something has to get done and make it a habit. For example, I will always clean the shower on Saturday after lunch, and so far I have managed to keep it not covered in mould or bacteria for a few months. But there is still a lot more that I am neglecting.

Thanks :) 

I'll give that a try

Love the ISES.

There's your first step. Redesign their function. Essentially, doing the washing up at night rewards your Tomorrow Self, so that self can step into the day AS IF an Imaginary Secret Elf Society (ISES) were there last night to serve the Tomorrow Self (TS). If you've never rewarded yourself like this, it's worth a try. Imagine TS living in this curated cozy space luxuriously. Things are in their space and tidy, no more spending hours finding a pen. ISES put the pens where they belonged the night before. Maybe they even hovered up so all you have to do, is Oh. Make coffee and breakfast in clean dishes and start your uncluttered day! Voila! 

Yes, I thank myself out loud sometimes. Not ashamed. 

Thanks

I'm also a big fan of rewiring my brain (mental reprogramming) to remove negative behaviours and responses. I just can't seem to do it with chores

LMPTR - that's how I roll

When I didn't like doing household chores, I'll fill my mind with videos of people who loved doing household chores, people who excessively did chores all day, to try to rewire my own mind to think that I can at least do a bit of it, that it doesn't always have to be a boring and tedious experience, that I can make it a positive experience.

And for bills, I set up automatic payment processes, so I'm not manually doing every step every month, or worrying if my phone will be cut off because I forgot to pay, it's automatically billed, and then I only just devote one day for paying off bills, and the rest of the 29 days of the month is just spent on doing other more enjoyable things. 

I also got myself into a routine that I enjoy doing, so like there's step 1 and step 2 to brewing coffee in the morning, there's also steps that I do in the morning, so when breakfast is cooking I can wash a few dishes, tidy up something, and then when I finally have breakfast I've accomplished something already, which lightens up the pressure of the oncoming day. 

I would procrastinate on housework, but an almost immediately onto financial issues; a lifetime with an elderly grandmother does that to you.

Sorting out my dosset is a pain in the hole. The blister packs are small and precise; I don't do gentle and patient.

No.

Seanado said:

Does anyone have any success in organising or motivating yourself to do the crap you don’t want to do and staying on top of the endless train of uninteresting $h!t that is critical to conducting the everyday business of life?

Yep ~ treat the uninteresting stuff as work and the interesting stuff as the reward for having done that work, as brings motivation to do the uninteresting stuff and gives an added sense of completion and liberation in doing and completing the interesting stuff ~ making it a positive feedback loop. :-)

Love this idea!

Hey, Seanado

It depends what the things are. I put letters on my staircase (the closer they are to the bottom step, the sooner I need to deal with them. If they are urgent, they go on the bottom step. I try not to put more than  one on a step at at a time, so I only need to deal with one a day). Other things go on my staircase too as well as letters, small jobs, or things I need to buy or replace, like lightbulbs. Nothing too big as I get stressed with too much mess. 

I do the same with other jobs too. I move things around to create a visible hierarchy system.

For bigger jobs, like hoovering and steam mopping, washing, gardening. I have a utility cupboard, and I put the machines in a row in order of importance. That way I know which one I need to use next. I do the same with the washing basket. I bring it down the stairs and put it in front of the washer. 

The good thing about this way of doing things is that there's no pressure to do the jobs, it's just a reminder to do them and in what order.

If I can't actually see the thing I need to do, or some element of it, then it doesn't get done. I literally have to bring it into view as a reminder.

Of course, I often rely on the tried and trusted technique of LMPTR. Have you tried that one? (L)ast (M)inute (P)anic T(hen) R(ush)!

Hope this is some help x

I totally agree with everything you say,.      My only way to deal with it is to place everything into the same box as cleaning teeth, washing, getting up, going to bed etc.    Dull but necessary.

I have lots of uninteresting things in front of me but it's only a small step from eating a boring breakfast to painting a bedroom.