Published on 12, July, 2020
I have only been recently diagnosed at 40 and I’m currently really struggling to make my life work. I have 3 children, 2 not at school yet, and a job I have gone part time in, dropping to 2 days a week. The job has no flexibility and cannot make reasonable adjustments. I seem to be on a constant rollercoaster of anxiety, meltdowns, burnout and depression and it’s really impacting my relationship with my kids. I snap at them constantly and we never have any fun. I suspect my older daughter is also autistic and I worry about the impact this is having on her. I can see the mother I want to be but I am too stressed out to be her. Any advice at all would be welcomed.
Hi there. I would give yourself a huge psychological break. Working with three kids and two not at school is huge. Do you have any family to support you? Being in a position where you have to work at the moment is also hugely stressful.
I really struggled when I had small children and did not work as much as you. I also put my children into childcare to try and give myself some time out for myself - I felt like a failure enough to believe that someone, anyone, else would do a better job.
It does get better. How long before your two start school. How far away before you have a bit more time to look after you? And can your partner give you anymore support?
That's great that you manage to do Yoga. What else do you miss not being able to do?
I can really recommend doing some reading to get your head around your diagnosis and coming to terms with that. I am reading "What have I learned about life" by Alis Rowe at the moment and it is really useful.
I am going to try and do the following things to help in my life:
1. Maintain my routines as they reduce my stress
2. Exercise regularly
3. Increase my alone time as this increases my energy levels.
4. Look at areas of stress and try and reduce them.
I don't really have an area of special interest, but find listening to music is the best thing to help me stay happy. I also try a quick meditation every day and write a lot of lists to tick off which calms me.
Take care and welcome to the forum.