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Moving house

NAS69281

Hello everyone, 

Just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation? I still live at home with my mum and the past few years have become increasingly difficult for her to keep the family home going especially considering I can't contribute as I am one of the 78% of unemployed people with autism. Anyway she was sadly forced into selling and today we finally moved. I left behind the only home I have ever known (we lived abroad for about 5 years when I was very young but kept the house and rented it out). I've really been dreading it all happening and kind of hoped in some distant fairytale land that some how it wouldn't happen. But now it has and I've struggled so much today. I've been crying every few minutes and I am NOT a crier. Ever. I'm just really really struggling with it all. I'm guessing my ASD and the whole resistance to change thing is playing a part here but I feel like such a wally. People move house all the time and its really not a big deal. I know my friends and family are there for me but I don't feel like I can really talk to them about how much I hate this because there are so many very much worse things in the world. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand, especially given the last year, that things could be a lot worse and I am very grateful for what I do have. I also know that in time it will get easier and I just need to get used to it all but at the moment I'm struggling to see past it all. I spent the majority of my 30 years in that house with the same neighbours, the same everything. And because mum was forced into selling she had to find somewhere quick so our new house is far from ideal and neither of us are particularly excited by the prospect. 

Has anyone else ever struggled with having to move house? 

Sophie 

Parents

  • Sorry to hear you aren't moving somewhere you want to, but I guess the uncomfortable truth here is a reality for all us adults; change is the only constant.

    I moved out of the same family home I'd ever known at the age of 16, I remember how strange the first few weeks were in a new environment, but also, being young at the time, I looked at it as an adventure. Since I was 20 I've moved around, I've lived in 10 places in the past 11 years, so it was the first time I'd learned about if nf and adjusting. Each time was difficult, logistically, and emotionally. But it gets easier the more you do, like anything.

    Once in, you can start making new plans for yourself maybe? You are young so try to be positive, there are opportunities in every new change. So look for what new things are brought to you... What interesting places are you being brought closer to? Parks, Shopping Centres, Museums, anything that relates to your special interests? Does it give you the chance to overcome something you may not have challenged yourself with before? That's a positive thing, although tricky to experience for the first time, take confidence that like everyone, you have the abilities to overcome these feelings, by breathing. If you take slow in and out breaths, then you will continue to calmly move forward in life. It's the issue that's the problem, it's our reaction to it which causes us difficulty. This takes practice...

    It is always harder when you feel you have been pushed, but try to look at it as a new beginning rather than an ending.

    It's like a relationship; does a relationship need to last until we leave this world to make it successful? Or is a successful relationship just something you learn something from? So then, what will you learn from this next chapter I wonder? Even if you learn it isn't your ideal, the steps you take afterwards could be your most important yet?

    Pull your mum closer, take solace in your family bond, which sounds strong, I dare say this will be very difficult for your mum as well.

    I wish you luck, and let this May 1st be a positive new beginning for you and your family Pray

Reply

  • Sorry to hear you aren't moving somewhere you want to, but I guess the uncomfortable truth here is a reality for all us adults; change is the only constant.

    I moved out of the same family home I'd ever known at the age of 16, I remember how strange the first few weeks were in a new environment, but also, being young at the time, I looked at it as an adventure. Since I was 20 I've moved around, I've lived in 10 places in the past 11 years, so it was the first time I'd learned about if nf and adjusting. Each time was difficult, logistically, and emotionally. But it gets easier the more you do, like anything.

    Once in, you can start making new plans for yourself maybe? You are young so try to be positive, there are opportunities in every new change. So look for what new things are brought to you... What interesting places are you being brought closer to? Parks, Shopping Centres, Museums, anything that relates to your special interests? Does it give you the chance to overcome something you may not have challenged yourself with before? That's a positive thing, although tricky to experience for the first time, take confidence that like everyone, you have the abilities to overcome these feelings, by breathing. If you take slow in and out breaths, then you will continue to calmly move forward in life. It's the issue that's the problem, it's our reaction to it which causes us difficulty. This takes practice...

    It is always harder when you feel you have been pushed, but try to look at it as a new beginning rather than an ending.

    It's like a relationship; does a relationship need to last until we leave this world to make it successful? Or is a successful relationship just something you learn something from? So then, what will you learn from this next chapter I wonder? Even if you learn it isn't your ideal, the steps you take afterwards could be your most important yet?

    Pull your mum closer, take solace in your family bond, which sounds strong, I dare say this will be very difficult for your mum as well.

    I wish you luck, and let this May 1st be a positive new beginning for you and your family Pray

Children
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