Creative or Low EQ & Logical?

Oh interesting. Let us know what you find.

Thank you for this. Being a curious one, I see that 'cognitive', 'behavioural' and 'emotional' types of empathy are mentioned in research abstracts.

yes there are two types of empathy .behavioural  empathy [the ability to read other people] and the other type where you feel bad for some one/thing  going though a bad experience.[ which has got a name but i have forgotten it will look it up]

That's sad to hear about the ex-partner. I think there'll be one or a few few of us bowing our heads in actual empathy with you here.

Bless you, yes it was rhetorical.  This EQ stuff seems to be about social norms and reading minds, not empathy as far as I can see.  Bet my sociopathic ex would have scored highly.  He's ohhh sooo aware, and manipulates it for his own ends with out any real empathy for anyone but himself.  

Who's got the real EQ?  I bet the lovely people here have.

Yes, I found the questions on the EQ test (that I looked at) weren't really asking about empathy. The test seemed to be a 'social cohesion/social mirroring' kind of test.

"So, what does EQ mean anyway?" - it's 'Empathy Quotient' [apologies if that was a rhetorical question]

I have the same suspicion - that NTs measure EQ/empathy differently: through their own idea or what empathy means. Its rather like having an alcoholic tell you what sobriety should look like.

Hmmm, interesting...

I just did one of those EQ test off the back of your question (dunno how reliable it was), it said ".. low empathy common to people with Asperger's or Autism".

I'm not so sure about the empathy thing though; not working out what some one is feeling isn't the same as not caring what they are feeling. A friend with a problem gets my time, help and attention, they just might have to catch me one on one and spell out what the problem is. And just because I don't give a stuff about social rules (because they aren't logical), doesn't mean I don't care about the plight of humanity. As a kid watching appeals for war zones on TV, I'd demand to know what my mother was going to do about it, and when she said there was nothing she could personally do, I emptied my piggy bank and asked to be taken to the bank so the children wouldn't starve, apparently.

So, what does EQ mean anyway?

Are there two types? Dunno, but I'll be watching the replies to your very interesting question

I used to do well at interviews because I would quite literally just bullshit. I was desperate for a job though so I had to. Never held down a job for long though because of sensory overload etc and just generally not coping. 

"To Feel what the Other is Feeling implies you are Thinking what they are Thinking."

This is an interesting line, and I feel like adding something in case it helps or provides another interesting angle.

When I feel empathy, I can 'basically feel' an emotion in me without knowing what the person is thinking.

So, if someone is stressed (or another emotion), I will feel a similar kind of emotion well up. I will feel, in myself, that something may need to be resolved for them (and indeed I) to be able to feel calm again.

I won't know why they are stressed though. All I know, is that a fairly strong emotion is washing through me and I've learned to reasonably ok pinpoint roughly what the emotion is.

I know I was able to empathise with TV characters as a child. I get the impression that the feedback of life has taught to more easily feel/be attuned to different emotions.

How accurately, or inaccurately, I guess what is being thought seems to be important. I'll lay out an example of this:
If someone is stressed and I correctly guess that the stress is about their work, I'm likely to be a useful empath to them.
If, however, I incorrectly guess that their stress is something to do with an earlier action of mine, emotions like guilt and fear may well take over within me and render my empathy skills much less useful to the stressed person, sadly.

In terms of a positive kind of emotion, I can get a real lift if I walk into a happy environment. I may have no clue why people are happy, and yet I feel a welling-up of positive, good emotion in me.

I'm wondering, does this personal explanation help? Is this quite interesting for some/any of you to read?

Agreed

The way the term "Empathy" is used in psychology is quite different to how it is used by the public. I've started a post on it. 

Empathy SHOULD be called Mind-Reading, or the ability to receive and process communication through tone, gestures, allegory, the Herd mentality collected awareness, use of linguistics and other communication means including facial expressions. It also implies the ability to 1. Receive and appropriately Process this AND also provide the Desired Response. 

To Feel what the Other is Feeling implies you are Thinking what they are Thinking. There is a technicality here in that it has been translated to mean someone with emotions and thus subjecting humans who appear 'emotion-less' or apathetic to a state of Not having Empathy. This is contorted and warped. 

When in a relationship, after years of getting to know someone, almost all humans except psychologically termed psychopaths care for and feel affection toward one another, NTs and NDs alike.

Francesca uses the term Mind Blindness for Autistis as way of separating this misunderstood technical term from it's multiple and misguided meanings. I prefer to use Presumption as I feel presumption is entirely Un-Ethical and as a way of levelling the playing field about me when dealing with someone who is angry I cannot read their mind. Why should I have to assume the best in another while they assume the worst in me? No. We should all put forward a desire to Be Understanding of each other :) x

Because the grass is ALWAYS greener elsewhere, but fertilised with the same s**t!

Join the club!

I struggle with interviews because I'm 'too blunt' and 'not a storyteller.'  I find it hard to remember the right words to say when asked Job Interview questions; constantly chasing buzzwords with little articulacy. A lot of it was being forced to 'listen' my whole life by my gran, teachers, other female relatives and the closest woman I ever had to a partner. (and, now, my online buddy from Toronto)

They say that men are 'too soft.' Well, no wonder. We can't get a word in edgeways.

Ah yeah. I guess the faces of elderly people are particularly good for reading what kind of a life people have had, and yeah with other facial expressions and body language, I guess most of us give out subtle hints as to the kind of life we've had.

I don't get it.    You are who you are with skills and intelligence - so why do people worry about what they are not?

Very true. I'm finding in recent years I can actually see past/present pain in people's faces and body language. 

As someone who has grown from seemingly relatively low empathy up to seemingly high empathy - I think most NTs have decent general empathy but can certainly struggle with empathy that's out of their depth or experience.

The most empathic people, in my view, I've met have tended to be trauma survivors. If one observes a street that has one or more homeless people, the vast majority of people walk by. The people who actual stop (not necessarily to give money) tend to be a small minority and quite a high percentage of those, in my observations, have been people that have gone through tough lives.

I think NTs have decent and good general empathy. I find, in particular, people (NTs or NDs) who have gone difficult lives can often develop what I'd term as 'deep empathy'.

After all, it is hard to relate to high distress if one hasn't experienced any kind of high distress before. It is also hard for some of us to relate to high joy or care-free laughter, if we have rarely had much joy or ever been very care-free before.

Thank you :) Wishing you new memories too. That's a nice way of phrasing it :)

I'm really quite interested in this one as I deal with empathy and the problems it causes, in my work. It's seen as an advantage to be able to 'shed the yolk' of empathy, and I assumed all ASDs would be the same as me (as a low EQ score is an indicator for ASD), but anecdotally I am seeing quite a few who have very high empathy. I will also do some more research on this.