I had my assessment

Congratulations! 

Thank you Plastic. Glad I have the weekend to try and process before work on Monday 

How do you feel?     Fried?    Quiet weekend ahead?       Having your suspicions confirmed must feel good for you though.

How do you feel?     Fried?    Quiet weekend ahead?       Having your suspicions confirmed must feel good for you though.

The environment (like all groups working together) is totally chaotic which is why they'll never get me back in the office. Generally if I know what boundaries I'm working in and who does what I seem to be able to juggle things fine. It can be exhausting but I can get through it. 

Where I falter is when things are unclear or if people don't have the information that they really should have or they make decisions without reference to what is realistically achievable (in terms of a quality output) - which is most of the time 

Ethan said:

Basically all the things that a well-functioning organisation would do if they had the right leadership or stuck to their "best practices". 

:LOL.     

I don't know how you keep your sanity.      I used to create and deliver GxP compliance training - such hard work.   Herding cats. 

When you said data and number cruncher, I thought wonderful. Then you're description of what you actually do and what's going on around you sounded completely overwhelming. I have no idea how you get through each day. You're amazing! You make what I do seem really easy.

I cleanse data, crunch numbers, up-skill colleagues and try to get other parts of the organisation I work for to talk to each other.

Work can be difficult. I've moved from a solitary role (which was a godsend but I couldn't keep it forever) to working with stakeholders which has brought to the fore just how chaotic people are when working together. Probably the most difficult thing is that I work with folk who get openly frustrated which, if I'm not careful, can draw me into the tsunami of emotions and I'm finding I have to really work to maintain a psychologically healthy distance.

Right now there's another part of the business which is on maneuvers, poaching staff and snaffling work - it's all influence and internal empire building so there's a lot of uncertainty and frustration in my corner which means a lot of the unease felt by others tends to spill over into the working day. No-one's job is at risk, it's just what they might be asked to do in the future will change. 

The hardest part is getting people to do the simple things I need. So clear ask and task, provide information written and up front before meetings. Have processes/rationale written down. Basically all the things that a well-functioning organisation would do if they had the right leadership or stuck to their "best practices". 

I'm so glad you're being kinder to yourself, you certainly deserve that. I'm hoping I can become more self forgiving. Is work being difficult for you? What do you do?

It's not been a smoothest ride but things have been much better for knowing. I'm more self-reflective and working to get some discipline on how I handle things day-to-day - especially with work things and people (so breaking down tasks, building in buffer time between activities etc). 

It's hard sometimes to get across to a NT as to what I do struggle with and why. Can't remember how many times I ask for clear ask/task and space to do it and I seem to get completely the opposite. The best thing is - I am a lot more kinder to myself these days. Just connecting with others experiences on this forum has helped a lot.  

Thank you Ethan. How has the journey been for you? I hope a positive one!

Good news with the diagnosis - glad you saw through the assessment. 

Give yourself time - I'm 8 months in and after the honeymoon period of relief of knowing just what's going on and everyone at work being receptive to disclosure I feel I'm only just getting to grips with it.

I think I'm more numb, distracting myself so as not to think about it. I'm relieved I finally have an explanation, and uncertain how to proceed. I will get there, and an easy weekend sounds very good!