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meltdowns

NAS68964

i have an 18 yr old son who is currently having big meltdowns every evening .he gets aggressive ocasionally and has hurt me physically once.this has worsened recently. im not sure ifits hormones or not but he never used to get like this .its only since we moved after my parents died. last year. it could be the changes . he gets so upset and angry. he keeps wanting to sell things and spend money usually online. i know its all cos ofhis autism but how do istop his behaviuors? i would appreciate any advice. ive no family or friends to help me.

  • Hi - your son needs predictability in order to restore calm. Meltdowns are a sign of inconsistency in life and any change is a challenge for children or adults on the spectrum, It’s important to be aware of the impact of voice on him. He’ll need calm vocals at all times, a regular, reliable structure to his day wherever possible. When your son is having a meltdown, he’s essentially drowning ... if he could communicate more effectively his feelings, he’d be telling you “Mum, please help me. I feel neither safe. or secure right now”.

    Once a meltdown begins, keep yourself safe. Don’t attempt to engage him as this will only add fuel to the fire. The less stimulation from anything and anyone at that point, the better. Once the storm of meltdown is over, he will likely feel exhausted and his self esteem low. I’d be doing my best to ensure he has a reliable routine from morning to night, one he can rely upon. Transitions such as moving from one residence to another can be managed and made to run as smoothly as possible, but hearing he is having meltdowns a year since the move tells me this could be about more than just the move itself. Look at the other environments he spends time in, be it school or other. He may possibly be letting the anguish of being bullied or frustrations of interactions with others, out on you at home as a release.

    Find out what’s behind the meltdowns specifically. It’s not unusual for some autistic children and adults to unleash at home with those closest to them, when something’s not right in their day.  He may be grieving the loss of his grandparents and need social stories or simply reassurance.  All the best.