Autism and gender identity

Could be entirely coincidental or linked to the fact that as autistic people we tend to not really filter our honest thoughts - we say what we think. Maybe lots of NTs are the same but haven't got the courage to speak out as freely because it is more taboo. Who knows. I'm still of the opinion this is purely coincidental.

I was born female and identify as a woman, but sexuality-wise I'm bisexual but married to a man so currently in a convention male/female marriage and nobody sees I'm bisexual unless I mention it. Same with autism really as people can easily just assume I'm weird or rude or whatever they want to think negatively about me. I respect people's pronouns but I'm not yet at a stage in life where I would ask someone their pronouns routinely in conversation. Is anyone else?

I agree with everything you say-  except the pronoun bit.   

When you meet someone, you don't use their pronouns in conversation with them - they are only used when talking about them when they are not present - and if someone is so self-important and entitled that they demand how you talk about them in their absence, then they are not people I would waste my time with.    As Boy George said - it's all attention seeking.     They have become the new 'vegan' joke

That doesn't always happen though does it. Sometimes we do use each other's pronouns in front of each other. 

A valid point. But we forget. I don't object to being politely reminded peoples pronouns of choice when I forget. I do object to being treated like I've committed a hate crime instead of just forgetting something.

No more pretentious than expecting someone to care what your name is... 

at one point I did consider introducing my self declaring my pronouns as he/her/theirs. 

Do you not think people telling you their pronouns when you meet them is THE most pretentious thing a person could ever do.     To insist they are sooooo important that you have to be microscopically correct about them when they're gone.

Like you say-  be thankful if I remember your name.

Sam said:

A man may look feminine and still identify as a man.

A woman may look masculine and still identify as a women.

They may, but if they do it's not unreasonable to expect them to correct others when they get confused about pronouns from time to time. Hell it takes me several times meeting most people to remember their names. If your pronoun isn't obvious from your appearance I'm not likely to get it just because you say it once when we first meet.

Sam said:

A man may look feminine and still identify as a man.

A woman may look masculine and still identify as a women.

They may, but if they do it's not unreasonable to expect them to correct others when they get confused about pronouns from time to time. Hell it takes me several times meeting most people to remember their names. If your pronoun isn't obvious from your appearance I'm not likely to get it just because you say it once when we first meet.

A valid point. But we forget. I don't object to being politely reminded peoples pronouns of choice when I forget. I do object to being treated like I've committed a hate crime instead of just forgetting something.

No more pretentious than expecting someone to care what your name is... 

at one point I did consider introducing my self declaring my pronouns as he/her/theirs. 

Do you not think people telling you their pronouns when you meet them is THE most pretentious thing a person could ever do.     To insist they are sooooo important that you have to be microscopically correct about them when they're gone.

Like you say-  be thankful if I remember your name.