Coping mechanisms?

What coping mechanisms are there for autistic adults? Or, what mechanisms are there for handling them when they get angry because right now attempting to reason and then leaving the vicinity is only going so far.

My husband who we think is on the spectrum has issues where the answer seems to be, blame it on me, my faults, my habits, my existence and get them changed albeit with a firm dose of management speak like he "wants me to acknowledge" my problem which isn't what he actually wants, he wants me to stop whatever it is to make him happy - which is somewhat difficult when it's something like the loudness of my sneezes. 

We tried relationship therapy a couple of times, he lost interest when the therapist said he wouldn't say who was "right or wrong" and it was clear he was going in a direction of testing him on things that made him uncomfortable like leaving things on the edges of tables.

He doesn't "get" meditation or hang around long enough to give it a try.

There's a line of whether I'm just married to an obnoxious human and what is being expressed is the product of being an only child that was told he was a prodigy, or whether he has autism. He certainly has traits, obsessions with "hobbies", sensitivity to light and loud noises, lack of interest in his own hygiene, lack of interest in my emotions, successful career in data...we're on course to having a child so leaving right now isn't viable, and at the same time, subjecting a child to him in his current state isn't desirable either as we're faced with the idea that a child may learn his habits where openly being rude to supermarket staff for being slow is okay, or being told every part of their existence is "wrong".