How are you doing?

I might have a while to go yet, but I have mixed feelings...

In some ways, I think I'd be quite nonchalant about it.  It would explain A LOT about me, but for all my many quirks and difficulties, I can as easily see other explanations - my dyslexia, just personal tastes, other child hood experiences, perhaps.

But with respect to my medical/body phobia's with accompanying break downs and shut down cycles, that no one seems to understand, least of all me, and I seem to be in the mental health service "naughty girl" box for, it would explain everything that is going on and it would be a blessed relief to have someone finally make some sense to me.  Even if they say I am sub-spectrum, but have a few traits, or say it's something else altogether, it might give me the way forward.  I am just desperate for the truth.

If anyone had said I could have ASD a year ago, I'd have thought they were bonkers, but I am coming out as over the line on every questionnaire going...so, I'm in shock, actually.  The prospect is messing with my head a bit.  It's got me questioning all sorts of things one way and then the other.  But shall we say for every personality quirk I seem to have, that others find odd, but that'd I've always attributed to something else and just accepted, I seem to be hearing someone on the spectrum saying too....It's hard to focus on the rest of life, while you're waiting, huh?

I MUST just trust the process I guess, but I am eager, and therefore nervous, to know, so I can move on to the RIGHT care for me.

Meanwhile, hang on in there, is all I guess we can say.  I guess we'll all go through it.

Good luck

Hi Dawn, thank you so much for replying. You sounded so much like me, attributing quirks to other things, and just wanting some answers. I've been desperate my whole life to understand why I'm so weird and different. I had honestly put it down to personality flaws mostly. You're no right that it's hard to think of anything else whilst you're waiting for an answer. I've now convinced myself that it's a waste of time, that I won't finally get answers, I think I'm trying to protect myself from the fear of never knowing what's wrong with me.

Hi Dawn, thank you so much for replying. You sounded so much like me, attributing quirks to other things, and just wanting some answers. I've been desperate my whole life to understand why I'm so weird and different. I had honestly put it down to personality flaws mostly. You're no right that it's hard to think of anything else whilst you're waiting for an answer. I've now convinced myself that it's a waste of time, that I won't finally get answers, I think I'm trying to protect myself from the fear of never knowing what's wrong with me.