Published on 12, July, 2020
Has anyone experienced... how negative a person is with Aspergers? My son is finding it hard atm with college work, it’s hard actually to put into words! He’s so negative. But he knows he is different to others and started crying to me about it, he’s frustrated and I just don’t know where to turn! He is 20 years old in June. I get scared of how is mind is set, as I remember him telling e he wanted to die in his twenties and it plays on my mind. I feel like I need to go away and look up what to say to him, as he is so intelligent but his way of thinking is different. As we all have our own experience of depression and anxiety. I feel Aspergers is in another level totally! thanx for ready hope you can advice ;)
Depression and anxiety are common in aspergers (or those of us on the spectrum). Some of it I think is the difficulty in functioning in the social world which seems to come much easier to other people which is a pretty difficult thing to be constantly aware of, others is a more intense reaction to stressors. I get very overwhelmed if given too much novel information too quickly or if discussions aren't had in a structured way. If I get stressed over something which I think it was preventable I do find it difficult to psychologically move on from it - so I can find it difficult to move out of a negative frame of mind.
All through my formative years I had the sense of not coping, or I wasn't coping well - but neither the language or information was available back then to help me make sense of it all so depression and anxiety were close friends of mine.
If there's disability services at the college then has your son tried accessing them? (I know the disability term doesn't sit well with those who prefer the neurodiverse paradigm but we work with what we have). There may be adjustments they can make to help with the college work.
There's the NAS helpline too which may be able to offer some advice https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support
If it's a case of coping with the social demands that'll take some time to work out what works best for him. I'm not saying to avoid all social things - it's college after all - but there may be things he needs to do to make things easier. Linking in with other folk on the spectrum may help... that does make a huge difference just to know there's other people out there with similar experiences.
Best wishes
E