Newly diagnosed

Some of us might be happy to share our experiences and how our parents could've (or did) make life less stressful. I can also tell you what I do now and give you some ideas to help - things within your own control?

My son had difficulty reading when he was young & I noticed the Nintendo adventure games my father bought him helped, so I let him play where other parents might think video games were bad. They forced him to read & helped him decompress. But I would give him set periods of time. In fact, I would always give him set measurements of time. For instance, when he was even younger, if he wanted to watch a TV show and I knew we wouldn't have time to finish it, I would let him know. Typically he wouldn't engage if he would be cut off half way through. Same with music. I would never turn off a song until it finished. If we were near home, I would turn off the music before we arrived if a song had just finished or we would finish the song while parked. Interruptions destroyed me as a child. so with my son, we always finish one thing, then move on to the next. This applies to everything! 

When I got older, I had to teach my mother to always give me a 20 minute warning before leaving. If she wanted to do something last minute that wasn't an emergency, she would have to go alone. I also typically envision what I'm wearing tomorrow before I fall asleep or I can't seem to get dressed. Planning in advance took some getting used to. It made my life much more fluid and easy to focus on the tasks I need to do like study/work. And because when I can envision how things play out according to a schedule, so long as I'm not interrupted, I follow though. I can appear to be driven to finish tasks. But it's actually that an unfinished task or project will keep me awake at night like a screaming child who needs a nappy change. Now that I'm older it's extremely important that I work out a projection and assign daily tasks to long-term projects or my sleep will suffer. For me, abandoning anything half-way causes stress. Loyal to a fault. 

Lighting and sound and scents can all be over powering. But my hyper-sensory awareness has it's upside. I work in sound and often hear details others have either lost or can't notice. However, if the TV is on in one room, the radio in another, appliances and cars and then someone wants to talk, it can be too much. I can't focus in noise. However, I did take a few acting/improv classes growing up and I was able to learn ways to hyper-focus momentarily in needed situations. It's not preferable, but great technique. 

I use non-scented washing liquid, non-secreted cleaning products. baking soda and vinegar if needed. I do buy essential oils and make my own hand sanitiser. Happy to share if you like. I make my own packets of herbs and cedar shavings to keep moths away. I don't use scented candles, and I really have a difficult time in shops with incense. It creates physical internal pain. Hand soap and body soap is all natural.

In my room, there's nothing on the walls. Everything has a place. I rarely lose things now and when I do it's stressful but momentary. I have natural lighting for the most part and yes, LEDs give me headaches. However - I do have this Himalayan salt night light with an LED inside. The rock breaks up the light in a way that feels natural & would recommend.

This is probably a bit long... Perhaps this is your life too! Just thought I might share my thoughts on what makes life a little more manageable. Society can be difficult enough, but when home feels like a quiet sanctuary with few interruptions, no surprises, and my senses aren't being overloaded, it's easier to prioritise and focus on important things! 

Some of us might be happy to share our experiences and how our parents could've (or did) make life less stressful. I can also tell you what I do now and give you some ideas to help - things within your own control?

My son had difficulty reading when he was young & I noticed the Nintendo adventure games my father bought him helped, so I let him play where other parents might think video games were bad. They forced him to read & helped him decompress. But I would give him set periods of time. In fact, I would always give him set measurements of time. For instance, when he was even younger, if he wanted to watch a TV show and I knew we wouldn't have time to finish it, I would let him know. Typically he wouldn't engage if he would be cut off half way through. Same with music. I would never turn off a song until it finished. If we were near home, I would turn off the music before we arrived if a song had just finished or we would finish the song while parked. Interruptions destroyed me as a child. so with my son, we always finish one thing, then move on to the next. This applies to everything! 

When I got older, I had to teach my mother to always give me a 20 minute warning before leaving. If she wanted to do something last minute that wasn't an emergency, she would have to go alone. I also typically envision what I'm wearing tomorrow before I fall asleep or I can't seem to get dressed. Planning in advance took some getting used to. It made my life much more fluid and easy to focus on the tasks I need to do like study/work. And because when I can envision how things play out according to a schedule, so long as I'm not interrupted, I follow though. I can appear to be driven to finish tasks. But it's actually that an unfinished task or project will keep me awake at night like a screaming child who needs a nappy change. Now that I'm older it's extremely important that I work out a projection and assign daily tasks to long-term projects or my sleep will suffer. For me, abandoning anything half-way causes stress. Loyal to a fault. 

Lighting and sound and scents can all be over powering. But my hyper-sensory awareness has it's upside. I work in sound and often hear details others have either lost or can't notice. However, if the TV is on in one room, the radio in another, appliances and cars and then someone wants to talk, it can be too much. I can't focus in noise. However, I did take a few acting/improv classes growing up and I was able to learn ways to hyper-focus momentarily in needed situations. It's not preferable, but great technique. 

I use non-scented washing liquid, non-secreted cleaning products. baking soda and vinegar if needed. I do buy essential oils and make my own hand sanitiser. Happy to share if you like. I make my own packets of herbs and cedar shavings to keep moths away. I don't use scented candles, and I really have a difficult time in shops with incense. It creates physical internal pain. Hand soap and body soap is all natural.

In my room, there's nothing on the walls. Everything has a place. I rarely lose things now and when I do it's stressful but momentary. I have natural lighting for the most part and yes, LEDs give me headaches. However - I do have this Himalayan salt night light with an LED inside. The rock breaks up the light in a way that feels natural & would recommend.

This is probably a bit long... Perhaps this is your life too! Just thought I might share my thoughts on what makes life a little more manageable. Society can be difficult enough, but when home feels like a quiet sanctuary with few interruptions, no surprises, and my senses aren't being overloaded, it's easier to prioritise and focus on important things!