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Puzzled by people's puzzled reaction to my presence.

Robert124

I've been going over in my head, thinking about three very similar incidents that happened years apart, and I still don't understand them. Perhaps people here can help me.

  1. I was around 16 and walking along a street around 2 or 3 minutes from where I live.  I unexpectedly came across an  acquaintance from school.  He was very very puzzled when he saw me, asking me what I was doing around here. He looked even more puzzled when I told him I lived in the next street.( He was just visiting his grandmother, so didn't live there)
  2. About five years later, I was living elsewhere.  A work colleague had seen me the previous day, while driving, now she was asking me, " we saw you yesterday on ***** lane, you were out of your way weren't you?  What were you doing around there?". I told her that I lived there.  Once again the reaction was astonishment/very puzzled.
  3. Ten years later a repeat performance, work colleagues saw me from a passing car and wanted to know the next day, why I was walking in that area.  And again I was a couple of minutes from home.

Unfortunately, I never followed up the conversation with these people and never asked them why they were so puzzled by my presence.

  • in reply to Robert124

    Hmm, then I’ve got absolutely no clue!

    that does seem odd.

  • in reply to WMaLu110

    The second incident started with a puzzled conclusion, making an assumption,

    "you were out of your way weren't you? What were you doing there?"

  • in reply to WMaLu110

    One common feature is that I mixed with these people almost everyday at school/work, but never socially outside school/work.  So they didn't know where I lived.

    The areas were normal residential streets where both walking and driving was commonplace.

  • Based on the context you have given i can only think of a couple options. However since you are the one giving the context and do not know yourself what causes this response, it is also possible that you are leaving out the crucial thing that links all three instances, simply because you are unaware of it...so anyone’s assessment may not be entirely accurate.

    My first guess is that maybe the area you were walking around/living in was considered to be a ‘bad’ area, more crime, more rundown etc. and maybe they did not expect you to be a resident in those particular areas because of certain biases and assumptions they have.

    secondly, maybe its just the way of making conversation and you are reading into their reaction too literally. I could see it being a relatively easy way to move the conversation forward - say something along the lines of “oh really? You live there?I had no idea”... since it shows they are processing the information and does not require much effort to generate a confirmation question. And maybe they find it interesting to see their peer in an environment outside of school/work. So they make such a remark

    edit: thought of two more reasons

    when i lived in 1 country people walked everywhere, there was a big walking culture, because the structure of town planning, etc. allowed for it. In another country i lived in, you could only walk places in some locations, it was waaaaay more of a driving country, you’d drive to the convenience store even! So maybe if your country is more driving centered, they may have thought it odd to see you walking about.

    2 maybe it was your proximity or lack there of to either work or school at those times.