Low self-esteem and loneliness

Haha true re: 'alternative' people - same old boring snobs, just with different clothes. They claim to be so 'woke' yet they have no understanding of autism.

And no, I have not - will watch it though! And no, I am more into drawing weird creatures, animals with human heads etc. I can send you a link to my art, if you want?

Thanks :) yeah me too. My aunt gets my humour but she lives in a different country, alas. I speak to her on the phone sometimes, hoping to visit her once this covid sh*t show is over

Hi violetdr3amer welcome.  I have quite a childish sense of humour which my family don't get

violetdr3amer said:

'alternative' people

Usually NTs trying to be uniformly different and 'interesting'..

violetdr3amer said:

I do pretty surreal illustrations of aliens, fantasy creatures etc. 

Awesome!!!!   Have you been to ComicCon at the Excel where all the illustrators are sitting doing their work and selling one-offs and custom pieces at the show?

Have you seen the film "Paul"?   Do all your women have 3 t!ts? 

Yeah that's the plan for after lockdown. Until the not-too-distant past, I used to hang out with 'alternative' people who are heavy into partying, that's all they ever seem to want to do, so I need to find new friends who don't do that. I also want to try new hobbies like board games etc.

I do pretty surreal illustrations of aliens, fantasy creatures etc. 

Glad you like the place        Be yourself-  find your friends that fit - I started my big mask in my teens - and I still see those friends regularly -  we still have a Christmas get-together!

I relate with you So Much, Plastic! I gotta go to an appointment but I am so fascinated by this community!! I could type on all these topics ALL DAY. Haha. I just joined today so perhaps that's why I am so excited about it. Good stuff. My name is Sherry, and I say that only to say that people have nicknamed me as "Sharey Sherry" because I "over"share, so so much. I Love It! Self Expressiooon. 

I think most people would get fed up with a drunk / spaced friend.     Seriously, look for people into the same stuff as you - meetup groups etc. so you'll meet people on your wavelength.       I joined Lego and model clubs to meet mike-minded nerds like me - and they all seem to be undiagnosed aspies,. 

What sort of illustration do you like?   Manga?   Beatrix Potter?   Technical illustration?

Great x

Yeah that's true. I stopped because I stopped being able to handle drugs and alcohol, it makes me go a bit nuts and full on and basically have meltdowns, which annoy people and make people think that I'm a nutter. I can't handle them, and seem to get drunk a lot faster than NTs do. But it's a bit of a catch-22, because I have such severe social anxiety that I can't cope being around 95% of people sober. I have a handful of close friends around whom I feel comfortable sober; everyone else just makes me clam up. I've no idea how to talk to people and seem to have nothing in common with most of them. When NTs start talking about their office jobs, mortgages or cars, I find it boring and it makes me feel like a 7 year old.

A lot of NTs in my life haven't been very understanding, and just told me to "try harder" and that I'm using my autism as an excuse. 

I draw and paint. I am not sure yet. After 2 years of college I get to apply to uni; I'm thinking of studying illustration and becoming a freelance illustrator.

Aw thanks :) and likewise! I'll send you a PM

Art as well! Must be amazing studying it. I'm self taught, love drawing and painting. Would love to see some of your work. 

We are really not suited to dealing with NTs all day, every day.    I was lucky, I was into nerdy things so became an engineer so I've been able to work on my own or with other aspies.

Drinking as drugs make you lose control - not a good combination.

What sort of art - where do you see an application?     Would you sell original art or do you make things?

I do that as well, entertaining myself with my own thoughts. My humour is pretty weird and nobody else gets it. 

My main hobbies are art and reading. I'm studying art at college at the moment (from home).

What about you?

I prefer less people, I've always been a loner, entertaining myself with my own thoughts. People always thought I was weird, I always did too. What hobbies or interests do you like?

Yeah I've read some books and articles but I still seem to make mistakes and haven't fully figured out my strengths and weaknesses yet. I definitely know that I am not suited to public-facing jobs or fast-paced office jobs lol.

I used to have a big personality (I used to drink a lot and take drugs) but people found me annoying and weird anyway. 

I like art, I am studying art at college at the moment. I've no idea what I want to do with it yet though.

Thank you for your kind words x

Yeah I think that's it, I have to hide from most people. I am not good at being inauthentic though so I find the easiest thing for me is just to stick to my few good friends. I have one friend who is also a female with ASD, and she pretty much keeps to herself, she has like 4 friends and her partner and that's it. 

You sound perfectly interesting.       You're relatively newly diagnosed and it takes a long time to figure out who you really are - your strengths - and understanding your weaknesses.

I created a very large personality because I noticed quiet + odd = bully target but extrovert + odd seems to be an enigmatic magnet for people - and I was open about my hobbies so I attract other closet/undiagnosed aspies - we became a functioning group.    My big personality means that things like 'oversharing' are just seen as open and honest.   I don't do secrets.    I haven't really grown up - I'm 14 inside still.

I didn't get diagnosed until 42 - up until then, I was fobbed off as depressed - and given all sorts of pills over the years.

I'm finding a huge number of undiagnosed aspies in distress because they didn't understand that they simply can't play the NT life - it's too much stress!     They started job that they can't possibly survive in rather than finding their niche.

What do you like to do?   

Sorry you're not in a good place. I've also been called weird and childlike. ASD was only mentioned to me in November, I'm trying to get a diagnosis now. I've always told myself that if people don't like me, then I wouldn't like them anyway. I have 1 friend and 1 work colleague who like me, and my husband. Nobody else can seem to put up with me, and that's when I'm being really careful not to show my real self. Perhaps they can see I'm being dishonest in a way. There is nothing wrong with you, you're an amazing individual with unique experiences and outlook on the world. I'm here if you ever want to chat, or vent.