Useful methods of distraction?

To be born again takes courage, that is for sure. There is no religion involved in that. It's all natural. 

Thank you! Just downloaded a new game and will start learning to play chess soon!

I understand. I believe in you!

I think the idea of a letter is avery good idea. I think I've reached some closure with her for now as we've agreed I will not email her for 3 months. The challenge will be getting through this 3 months without suddenly feeling anxious and reverting back to emailing!

Hi TenaciousD, thank you, it's very helpful for me to talk about as it's something I've had to keep hidden for so long (my obsessive tendencies towards reassurance). I do indeed have attachment problems, and the mental health professional in question knows about this... she said it's an anxious attachment style. I was so sad that I can no longer have appointments with her. I've always been allowed to email her so I've just continued doing this despite the appointments ending and although she tries to reply with helpful responses she says she won't give me any advice at the moment because she thinks doing so would make it harder for me to stop emailing her. The aim is that I stop emailing her completely!

That could be really helpful, thanks!

Ang93This place does phone, email & chat formats for therapists...I did it for a little while to recover from a toxic work environment. It was really helpful. www.betterhelp.com

I too spend huge amts of time on my own, except for partner--but, that's always been my preference. COVID has sadly improved alot of aspect of my life vs. bad.... Do you feel this person validates/feeds you in some way? Message us all here, this is the most understanding group I've ever been in. Maybe you're just looking for some compassion/understanding so you don't feel like you're going loopy/anxiety. I've only had one Dr. psyche when I was 16, ban me from svcs. He was a jerk. But, I'm lost, why is she responding? Is she still offering guidance or is she replying with a auto-pilot counselor/psyche response to cover her butt. Are you sad that she doesn't want to cont the relationship, although it was in a professional capacity. Some attatchment there, maybe. Maybe chess & uncovering why you feel you need her/her response? Rejection sensitivity is a thing too.....while she continues to respond, she isn't rejecting you. Feel free to stop replying to me if this is annoying.....I don't want to psychoanalyze anyone....just think it's important to try & understand why you're doing/how you're feeling.........understanding will make is easier. I'll reveal something...periodically for no reason whatsoever, I'll become really insecure....not my usual M.O. at all......but when this meltdown associated with that does occur, I do need reassurance & usually I feel better when I explain my perceived pressure/emotional injury to the person by saying, 'real or imaginary' this is how it feels. Would it be totally off-putting or empowering to write one last email to your counselor, explaining this & saying "goodbye." I wonder if this would help you move past it, then it'd be YOU ending the relationship? When people are out of my life, I cut them off completely, so it's a little hard to understand, unless there's some attachment/reason.....I don't understand why the therapist closed the door, but then left a window open? 

This is a great idea, thank you. No garden at the moment but will try the windowsill idea and maybe do some gardening in my parents' garden at home! I love being outdoors and doing something active

Hi TenaciousD, I think I know what you mean... I spend huge amounts of time on my own right now, and that's when the obsessive thoughts are worse and when I'm most likely to act on them. I no longer see this person, and it's since they told me they could no longer see me that I've started emailing them obsessively. When they respond, I feel a wave of relief, and my anxiety dissipates but this is usually only temporary!

OCD/obsessive behaviors can increase 'at rest,' meaning you're in your head, not engaging with someone or someone. That could be one reason why it's so hard---plus you're waiting for engagement & didn't you say you no longer see this person? My OCD gets worse at rest. If/when they respond, how does affect you? Feel free to ignore if you're not comfortable answering that.

Buy a packet of seeds. Have you got a garden?  If not buy some peat free compost and seeds. You can grow stuff on your windowsill.  I had tomatoes up to the ceiling when I lived in a flat. You can't go wrong with salad leaves, nasturtiums or marigolds. For a real treat, buy a wildlife flower mix, sow and see what wildlife you attract. 

Yes I think you have a point here, I have problems with my hormones anyway and particularly at the timebeing. Yes think I should start branching out into new games, because the idea of entering into another world for a short time seems like it will really help me. I would love to just have obsessions with no implication for other people if that makes sense; perhaps should start engaging more with my other interests e.g. dogs in the hope I become more focused on them!

Yes good point, at this point though I'd much rather be obsessed with chess as at least it doesn't have direct implications on the other person (i.e. the one I'm emailing!)

Sounds silly but how do people learn to do gardening? I wouldn't know where to start!

Thank you, this is a great idea!

I wanna play you at chess....I used to know how to play. I bet there's some awesome ones on Steam to....gunna have to check this out.

But beware that you het obsessed with the distraction eg playing chess online. I spend about 8 hours a day doing that now! Moderation in everything 

oh yes Gardening is also endless and is really good for u spiritually 

Gardening helps. I find my mind doesn't wander because I just focus on the task in hand. Unfortunately I can't do gardening at quarter past eleven at night. I wish my brain had an off switch.