For years now I have been on a journey of discovery. Trying to understand who I am and why I feel the way I do. Really driven by the need to get rid of the anxiety and the depression that goes along with it. Over the years I have tried, what feels like, every therapy and intervention known to man. I’ve also experimented with a whole range of herbal and homeopathic remedies, in an attempt to get to grips with it. Possibly with the naive belief I can find a magic cure and make it go away. All the time avoiding pharmaceutical medications. In many ways it is what has lead me here, waiting for an assessment.
I guess that is my point. There is so much ridding on the result of the assessment, that I’m scared that the anxiety will still be there and just be a part of me. I need to get it under control though, but feel if I give into medication that some how I have failed. Wasted the last 20+ years avoiding it. Because if that’s what it comes down to I could have taken it 20 years ago and saved myself time energy and money.
My other concern is the effects of this stuff. I did take something for about a month once. However, I stopped because I “felt” dead! Sure it made the anxiety better, but it turned off every other emotion too. It was like not being able to feel anything, it was horrible. I’d prefer to be anxious. At least I can still experience other emotions too.
Anyway, I’m rambling, which is most unlike me! Thanks
