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Fear

JT

I seem to develop fear about so many things. Most of my fear comes from concern about what others think of me, colleagues or old friends, so I cut them out of my life to protect myself. This has meant I've been masking in social situations for 30 years and now I don't know how to be myself in the company of others. The biggest fear atm is the idea of a NT wedding, all the different people I know in one place with all the focus directed at me & partner. Do you feel the same? What would a ND friendly wedding consist of I wonder? How can I orchestrate an event I actually want to attend, because atm the groom would be a no-show.

Today I'm due to have my covid jab, so I am awake at 4am in fear of that experience. Worried I will be the one who gets really sick from it because I have IBD as well. Have you had yours yet?

Why am I so afraid of new experiences when I'm not sure if the outcome? It's torture.

Parents

  • Thanks for the kind words, super sorry to hear you think your situation terminal. We all have a shelf life I guess so glad you sound like you've lived an interesting life and have a nice legacy surrounding you in such a difficult time. I just had a little boy so can see where my energies need to be directed now, it's all about the next generation ey.

    I've managed to semi step out, I work from home 4 days a week now in web design. It's still very full on, but it's a stepping stone to more flexibility I hope.

    Keep the faith, if stress caused our illness, then recuperation could be the elixir maybe? Stranger things have happened Slight smile all the best Pray

  • in reply to JT

    Yes - if you are genetically susceptible the stress is usually the trigger - my dad dropped dead while my wife was having a difficult pregnancy, work was terrible, I was being manipulated and bullied constantly and a couple of uncles died at the same time - I became ill over the following months.     I was an undiagnosed aspie back then so I had no way to process all the stress - the body-crash was inevitable.

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  • in reply to JT

    Yes - if you are genetically susceptible the stress is usually the trigger - my dad dropped dead while my wife was having a difficult pregnancy, work was terrible, I was being manipulated and bullied constantly and a couple of uncles died at the same time - I became ill over the following months.     I was an undiagnosed aspie back then so I had no way to process all the stress - the body-crash was inevitable.

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