• Replies 21 replies
  • Subscribers 84 subscribers
  • Views 2816 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Fear

JT

I seem to develop fear about so many things. Most of my fear comes from concern about what others think of me, colleagues or old friends, so I cut them out of my life to protect myself. This has meant I've been masking in social situations for 30 years and now I don't know how to be myself in the company of others. The biggest fear atm is the idea of a NT wedding, all the different people I know in one place with all the focus directed at me & partner. Do you feel the same? What would a ND friendly wedding consist of I wonder? How can I orchestrate an event I actually want to attend, because atm the groom would be a no-show.

Today I'm due to have my covid jab, so I am awake at 4am in fear of that experience. Worried I will be the one who gets really sick from it because I have IBD as well. Have you had yours yet?

Why am I so afraid of new experiences when I'm not sure if the outcome? It's torture.

Parents

  • Oh really, and how does one 'get out'? Slight smile sorry to hear about your cancer, that's ultimately what I'm most afraid of, as I know it's the likely end result of my ongoing Crohn's issues and I'm sure that's always on my mind.

    Will send some positive thoughts your way when I meditate next

Reply

  • Oh really, and how does one 'get out'? Slight smile sorry to hear about your cancer, that's ultimately what I'm most afraid of, as I know it's the likely end result of my ongoing Crohn's issues and I'm sure that's always on my mind.

    Will send some positive thoughts your way when I meditate next

Children
  • in reply to JT

    Thanks for your thoughts - the IBD will get me in the end - peritoneal cancer as a secondary from a suspected tiny bowel cancer which has spread around.    Game over.

    I worked for a major company and after finishing a big technology-transfer project a few years ago I managed to grab a big redundancy payout so I was able to semi-retire.    I'm using the money to vastly extend this house ready for sale (the original plan was to coincide finishing this house and my daughter's graduation to create a new, calm, low stress life in the country.    Not going to happen now).

    The time since retiring has been great - no external stress - no colitis flares - setting my own timetable, taking rest days if I needed to and being kind to my body's needs.    Shame I had my killer lurking within me.

    Best wishes with your Crohn's - stress is a major factor in the disease - if you can find a way to step out of the rat race then grab it with both hands.