Fear

I seem to develop fear about so many things. Most of my fear comes from concern about what others think of me, colleagues or old friends, so I cut them out of my life to protect myself. This has meant I've been masking in social situations for 30 years and now I don't know how to be myself in the company of others. The biggest fear atm is the idea of a NT wedding, all the different people I know in one place with all the focus directed at me & partner. Do you feel the same? What would a ND friendly wedding consist of I wonder? How can I orchestrate an event I actually want to attend, because atm the groom would be a no-show.

Today I'm due to have my covid jab, so I am awake at 4am in fear of that experience. Worried I will be the one who gets really sick from it because I have IBD as well. Have you had yours yet?

Why am I so afraid of new experiences when I'm not sure if the outcome? It's torture.

Parents
  • Thanks guys. A quick Google of Clexane gave one of the advisories as being unsuitable for UC, so you might wanna rethink/check that out.

    I agree with your point on weddings, and fear, and developing strategies to overcome these situations. I'm nearly 40 so I've had a lifetime of masking in different ways. Just feel like now I've been doing it for so long I feel exhausted by it all, and tend to just keep away.

    I fell out with a best mate 10 yrs ago because I confided in him about being depressed and he took the Mickey out of me for doing so, so I just stopped speaking to him. But he's the only friend I stopped speaking to out of our whole group, I could never, and still can't, find the words or motivation to tell him why and what that did to me. I recently offended my manager at work through asking to switch to a different one for professional reasons (which are still valid).

    These issues follow me round. But I spend all day everyday afraid. I feel constantly on edge, waiting for the next problem to pop up and shame me. When I was younger it wouldn't effect me like it does now. Too much time spent thinking I guess.

    And thanks for the reassuring words on the jab, I have to stop reading the news, it's all bad and always frightens me!

Reply
  • Thanks guys. A quick Google of Clexane gave one of the advisories as being unsuitable for UC, so you might wanna rethink/check that out.

    I agree with your point on weddings, and fear, and developing strategies to overcome these situations. I'm nearly 40 so I've had a lifetime of masking in different ways. Just feel like now I've been doing it for so long I feel exhausted by it all, and tend to just keep away.

    I fell out with a best mate 10 yrs ago because I confided in him about being depressed and he took the Mickey out of me for doing so, so I just stopped speaking to him. But he's the only friend I stopped speaking to out of our whole group, I could never, and still can't, find the words or motivation to tell him why and what that did to me. I recently offended my manager at work through asking to switch to a different one for professional reasons (which are still valid).

    These issues follow me round. But I spend all day everyday afraid. I feel constantly on edge, waiting for the next problem to pop up and shame me. When I was younger it wouldn't effect me like it does now. Too much time spent thinking I guess.

    And thanks for the reassuring words on the jab, I have to stop reading the news, it's all bad and always frightens me!

Children
  • Clexane gave one of the advisories as being unsuitable for UC, so you might wanna rethink/check that out.

    The research was done in 2006 - unfortunately, I have to be on Clexane for the multiple pulmonary embolisms that almost killed me last year which are a secondary effect of the cancer - but it has significantly helped the UC.   Smiley

    Dealing with people is a PITA - I'm lucky, I got out at 49 so I only do what I choose to.

    I stopped watching the news a few years ago - and Morrissey agrees!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rmAi9XmlIo