Hello, I'm seeking help and advice with regards to my partner, I have been with him for 4 years and there's certain things he says and does I'm confused with and don't know how to deal with. My partner was a royal marine for 10years also so I'm finding it hard to distinguish whether the things he says and does is because of this or if he is autistic. The more I've read up on autism the more I think he may be suffering with autism but he's not the kind of person you can approach with this. He has to have strict routines and I feel sometimes that he fits me in with his daily routines and he doesn't see how this can be hurtful sometimes, sometimes I can now even predict what he's doing week in week out. He's very passionate about cycling and fitness, if he doesn't get his own way or his routines are changed he gets very angry. He can lose his temper over very little things and has scared me a couple of times, I have learnt to walk away from him now when he gets like this. He also says nasty things sometimes, it's like it just comes out without him thinking and it's not just me this happens with. I was once trying to turn my oven off after cooking dinner and he was telling me to leave it as I think he wanted to do it but because I did it just quickly he called me a disobedient woman. I told him after you can't say things like that but thankfully for him I found understanding of it. He's has said other things such as your not welcome here when talking about me visting him, this only happened the once and he can find some troubles I have amusing sometimes which I find strange. I've noticed other things, he has to have his place spotless and sometimes I'm anxious at his place in case I make a mess, he lines his shopping on the conveyor belt so everything is dead straight, he likes to eat a variety of food but its of the same foods, he will only eat something different if I make something different and when I do he's wary of it. He likes to do again a variety of different things but there of the same. He works away 2 weeks at a time and I can almost now predict what were going to do when he's home. We don't live together as he has said he's worried about his temper but we've talked about it and unfortunately he's not the kind of person to seek help or counselling, he's a very proud person and he's not one to accept he has a problem, he got injured at war and now has spodiolothesis and has never gotten help with it, its like he doesn't like the thought of him being imperfect or having an illness or condition . However bad this all sounds he's also amazing because he's very caring and attentive towards me he's messaged me every single day morning and night to say he loves me for 4 years and will end the message with the same thing Love You then the same line of emoijis two hugs, two hearts, how kisses and two monkeys and I have to do the same back else he notices and wonders what's up. He does make friends easily but he prefers to be alone and has said to me in the past I wouldn't care if I was on my own for the rest of my life...which hurt. Some other things he's said have come across just things you don't say, ie we were walking on some cliffs once n he said what would you do if I pushed you off, I know 100% he would never do this but it's like he doesn't understand you can say things like that. He rarely shows empathy when I'm ill for example, ie I was in hospital 2years ago fighting infection i almost got sepsis, and almost lost my foot, he never came to see me in hosp and I had to make excuses for him about it. But in the same instance he's very noticeable of me and knows and helps if I have any general health issues. Once he said to me can you go and get an ear bud, so I did next he's trying to clear something out my ear he's spotted and I said to him you can't do things like that, I'm not a pet or a dog, so this can be hurtful but in the same instance I understand he's just caring too. Could he be austic? I tried the quiz and it came back 31, suggestiing aspergers but I'm not sure of this, and how on earth can I even suggest or approach this to him? The reason I'm asking out now is I'm concerned that if he is autistic could it get worse and I feel I need an understanding of why he is they way he is and if he is autistic I wouldn't care at all, if live him just the same and help him through it. But what if I can never ever tell him? How do I cope? Really appreciate any help or advice?
