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Empathy Weirdness?

DjenTeaLlama

Hey I'm new to this forum, and I'm just super interested to find out how other people present their empathy. I have deep intense empathy for everyone all the time. That's why I'm a progressive liberal "snowflake" lol and I cry sometimes just thinking about the struggles of other people. That being said, in my personal life I find myself almost completely incapable of feeling genuine empathy or caring at all about my own friends and family's problems. Even if a friend is going through a hard time that I myself can relate to I find myself not really caring about what they are saying or their struggles and find myself just responding the way I assume I'm supposed to but really only thinking about how I wish the conversation would end but it can't because now I've opened the door for someone to be talking about their own struggle and it would be rude to stop talking about that subject. It's a little bit of selfishness I guess? And I find myself only wanting to talk about my own struggles that their struggles remind me of. I don't know I guess I'm a selfish weirdo? Why is it that I sob uncontrollably hearing stories about people of color being shot by police or watch videos of people going through really hard times and am able to find deep, intense (many times hyper intense) empathy for complete strangers but when it comes to friends or associates or family even I can't seem to find actual genuine empathy and care? Is this something anyone else struggles with? I'm literally DYING to know. #SomeonePleaseRelateToMe lol

Parents

  • Friendship is an investment. An ideal friendship is a responsibly I choose to invest in regardless of how I feel because the other is worth-while. I've chosen the friendship and we have similar values and afford each other ideal boundaries. I've found a few types of humans easier to get along with, they're usually engineers or bakers or makers of some sort. A few have ADHD; they're also introverts and intuitive. I don't need many friends and I don't need to see them everyday. Most of them live far away. This is from 45 years being on the planet. My mother was similar to how you describe yourself. Her emotions were all over the place. She'd weep for things which were so distant and removed but have little empathy or desire to understand me. I tried to join into this behaviour as I thought I was supposed to but I couldn't. Vulnerability is a scary state to be in, it requires some kind of security (like a seedling requires from a nursery) and being ok with not being perfect, being loved for who we are. From what I've read humans alike find it easier to care about a thing they're less attached to because there is less weight / responsibly / demand / expectation involved. I think it's a thing you can google. Acting classes can actually help us learn to be vulnerable with the person in front of us as technique. But I've found other internal strengths which help. It's scary but necessary for real connexion. 

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  • Friendship is an investment. An ideal friendship is a responsibly I choose to invest in regardless of how I feel because the other is worth-while. I've chosen the friendship and we have similar values and afford each other ideal boundaries. I've found a few types of humans easier to get along with, they're usually engineers or bakers or makers of some sort. A few have ADHD; they're also introverts and intuitive. I don't need many friends and I don't need to see them everyday. Most of them live far away. This is from 45 years being on the planet. My mother was similar to how you describe yourself. Her emotions were all over the place. She'd weep for things which were so distant and removed but have little empathy or desire to understand me. I tried to join into this behaviour as I thought I was supposed to but I couldn't. Vulnerability is a scary state to be in, it requires some kind of security (like a seedling requires from a nursery) and being ok with not being perfect, being loved for who we are. From what I've read humans alike find it easier to care about a thing they're less attached to because there is less weight / responsibly / demand / expectation involved. I think it's a thing you can google. Acting classes can actually help us learn to be vulnerable with the person in front of us as technique. But I've found other internal strengths which help. It's scary but necessary for real connexion. 

Children
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