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Empathy Weirdness?

DjenTeaLlama

Hey I'm new to this forum, and I'm just super interested to find out how other people present their empathy. I have deep intense empathy for everyone all the time. That's why I'm a progressive liberal "snowflake" lol and I cry sometimes just thinking about the struggles of other people. That being said, in my personal life I find myself almost completely incapable of feeling genuine empathy or caring at all about my own friends and family's problems. Even if a friend is going through a hard time that I myself can relate to I find myself not really caring about what they are saying or their struggles and find myself just responding the way I assume I'm supposed to but really only thinking about how I wish the conversation would end but it can't because now I've opened the door for someone to be talking about their own struggle and it would be rude to stop talking about that subject. It's a little bit of selfishness I guess? And I find myself only wanting to talk about my own struggles that their struggles remind me of. I don't know I guess I'm a selfish weirdo? Why is it that I sob uncontrollably hearing stories about people of color being shot by police or watch videos of people going through really hard times and am able to find deep, intense (many times hyper intense) empathy for complete strangers but when it comes to friends or associates or family even I can't seem to find actual genuine empathy and care? Is this something anyone else struggles with? I'm literally DYING to know. #SomeonePleaseRelateToMe lol

Parents

  • when watching TV u are on your own and thus allow yourself to release emotion but when face-to-face with your friends your guard is up ------ thats my theory

  • in reply to aidie

    That's a good theory. I know my reactions to feelings aren't always what people expect or want, so when someone is telling me about their problems my main feeling is utter panic that I will say the wrong thing or make the wrong facial expression. The increased anxiety does make it harder to listen and like my main instinct becomes to run away. I think that reaction is both because I don't want to do the wrong thing, but also so I can both process what they've told me and deal with my own feelings about it. I know that that sounds ridiculously self involved, but sometimes it takes me quite a while to work out what I'm actually feeling and sometimes the emotion can even make me ill before I'll realise what it is.  

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  • in reply to aidie

    That's a good theory. I know my reactions to feelings aren't always what people expect or want, so when someone is telling me about their problems my main feeling is utter panic that I will say the wrong thing or make the wrong facial expression. The increased anxiety does make it harder to listen and like my main instinct becomes to run away. I think that reaction is both because I don't want to do the wrong thing, but also so I can both process what they've told me and deal with my own feelings about it. I know that that sounds ridiculously self involved, but sometimes it takes me quite a while to work out what I'm actually feeling and sometimes the emotion can even make me ill before I'll realise what it is.  

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