I am a tired and exhausted, both my husband and daughter have autism and its so much hard work for both myself and my son.
We live on our tip toes constantly and it's like we live our lives to please them and our needs are never considered.
We can't make too much noise in the house as this causes arguments, we can't have a difference of opinions.
We have to put up with aggression and the most vile language, particularly from my husband. He wishes me dead in front of the kids. My son has had it hard and I feel so sorry for him, my husband has been so cruel to him at times.
I have often thought about leaving but I struggle to put the strain on my daughter, when I have asked my husband before about leaving he always promises to change but we are into our 13th year of marriage and we still have the same issues.
I know some things he can't help but that doesn't make it easier for me. I have put up with more than anyone else would due to me always finding excuses and feeling sorry for my husband..
I just feel that everything is about adjusting to my husband and daughter and my feelings never get counted.
My daughter now looks up to her dad as they can relate and she can be purposly mean to me to impress her dad, he doesn't find it impressive but what he doesn't see is that she's behaving how she sees him behaving. He doesn't like seeing her behave like that but can't seem to stop himself from doing it to show her the right way of behaving.
I love them both, I would give them the world but I do struggle and I will never give up on my daughter., but I do consider giving up on my marriage as I feel something has to give.
How much more can I take? Sometimes I feel if I keep going until my daughters an adult I will be OK.... Other times I feel like I should keep going forever and then other times I feel how can I cope another day.