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Introvert or extrovert?

Meeples

I have always considered myself an introvert. I find social situations draining and I have no problem with my own company, which fits the definition of an introvert. However, I'm not sure that I really am. I am also a natural performer, fascinated by other peoples lives and stories and, when it goes well, I get a real buzz from connecting with people. So, could I actually be an extrovert? Could these introvert traits be the results of social anxiety, masking really heavily and/or being overstimulated? Wouldn't those things also make me find socialising confusing and exhausting and find having time by myself easier?

Its just a thought that's been rolling around in my mind and I wondered what everyone else thought.

  • in reply to Meeples

    It's somewhat hard to describe but in the moment I feel energised and inspired but afterwards I am emotionally drained and need time to recover.

  • in reply to Meeples

    Yes and no - I'm very highly motivated so I go my direction and others can either keep up or fall behind - so in a way, it's very liberating to not give a crap - the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate - and my family and friends are always my priority.    Smiley

  • in reply to Mytwenty

    I think its a sliding scale with ambivert in the middle. My husband is definitely an ambivert. But I don't think its as good as it sounds. He doesn't seem to mind whether he's on his own or in company, but then he doesn't seem to get energised from either situation either.

  • in reply to Plastic

    That's quite an amazing strategy. Well done! Wish I'd thought of it when I was at school. 

    Do you find that living in a created persona exhausting though?

  • Most of the population are ambiverts, I've read

  • in reply to SpaceOctopus

    Yes, the introvert-extrovert things is definitely a sliding scale. When you say you get a buzz from interacting does that buzz make you feel in anyway energised or recharged or do you come away feeling mentally and physically wiped out? 

    In many ways I can come away from interacting with people feeling inspired, creative and emotionally recharged. Which I would say were extrovert traits. But mentally and physically, I'm often totally zapped after even the most minor socialising. 

  • in reply to SpaceOctopus

    I can totally relate to these views.

  • I'm a twin - brother is NT, I'm aspie.      I realised I was very different to everyone else very early on - everything they did was crazy and inefficient.

    I measured that odd + introvert = bullying target.    I also noticed that odd + extrovert = popular & mysterious.

    I made the conscious decision to create a huge, extrovert persona to deter / confuse bullies.   I could effectively be aloof and arrogant but with good humour and it worked very well.and kept the bullies away.   My eidetic memory abilities meant I could be a chameleon and be an instant expert on any fashionable subject.   I'm like Neo in the Matrix - plug me in and I've learnt it all.

    This was around 1980 - I saved my pocket money and bought a cheap bass guitar and old synth and because I was into electronics, I built an amp and created a school rock band - along with two aspie friends who could play guitar and drums enough to fake 'musical skills'.  Smiley.       We did a few school assemblies.   Smiley    By sixth form, I had a better synth so I convinced my friend's sister (probably aspie too) to be a singer so we became a sort of low-budget Yazoo doing covers of Depeche mode / New Order / Soft Cell etc.   Smiley        I met my future wife in sixth form.

    This massive, extrovert persona has served me well my whole life - it's got me jobs and promotions and because I wear my heart on my sleeve - I'm, an open book, I'm so very obviously aspie that I attract other aspies - I'm easy to deal with - and all my long-term friends are either diagnosed or undiagnosed aspies.

  • Well, we've known for a while that a binary system where people are either an introvert or an extrovert is somewhat problematic. People more recently have been talking about ambiverts and how we are really all on a scale between the two. I might also add that this scale seems not to be consistent and moods seem to affect where we are on that scale.

    I would identify as an introvert but periodically, I can get a buzz from interacting with others whom I trust, but it is incredibly tiring for me to do that so it really is something that happened only occasionally.