Introvert or extrovert?

Well, we've known for a while that a binary system where people are either an introvert or an extrovert is somewhat problematic. People more recently have been talking about ambiverts and how we are really all on a scale between the two. I might also add that this scale seems not to be consistent and moods seem to affect where we are on that scale.

I would identify as an introvert but periodically, I can get a buzz from interacting with others whom I trust, but it is incredibly tiring for me to do that so it really is something that happened only occasionally.

Yes, the introvert-extrovert things is definitely a sliding scale. When you say you get a buzz from interacting does that buzz make you feel in anyway energised or recharged or do you come away feeling mentally and physically wiped out? 

In many ways I can come away from interacting with people feeling inspired, creative and emotionally recharged. Which I would say were extrovert traits. But mentally and physically, I'm often totally zapped after even the most minor socialising. 

It's somewhat hard to describe but in the moment I feel energised and inspired but afterwards I am emotionally drained and need time to recover.

That's me to a T.  I used to get a lot of my energy from being around people - almost needed to bounce off them - but would tire suddenly from over-stimulation.  In the past I could cope with this, as I was able to spend most of my time on my own, and could rebalance.  But since having a child (almost 24 years ago!) I have found that increasingly difficult, as I just don't get recovery time (for context, lone parent with daughter only dx'd as autistic two years ago aged 21).

It's sometimes hard to know how much my feeling permanently drained is down to age (I'm 59), but I'm dx'd with ADHD (awaiting autism assessment) and used to rely on my huge energy reserves, and could recharge sufficiently enough in my 20s and early 30s.

Now I can get by on a single interaction with a till assistant in Sainsbury's; that'll last me a good few days.  

What makes it worse is that my ADHD-self still impulsively engages with others when I'm in company (eg at choir), but I can feel myself pulling backwards at the same time, from almost feeling that my energy is being physically drawn away from me, like a twisting liquid thread.  I've become a push-me-pull-you, except I don't feel like I'm the one doing the pushing

I can be running on high-octane fuel during engagements even when, and perhaps especially when, things are going badly in a formal setting. Instead of slowing down and trying to calmly dig my way out of the mire, I accelerate and dig myself deeper and deeper into it. At the end of such sessions I am running on empty and it can take several days to refuel. Combine that with the several days before such events as I engage in anxiety management, it can be quite an exhausting process. So much so that I sometimes wonder why I engage in this way - and the answer seems to be that I fear even more turning in on myself and doing nothing at all!

I can be running on high-octane fuel during engagements even when, and perhaps especially when, things are going badly in a formal setting. Instead of slowing down and trying to calmly dig my way out of the mire, I accelerate and dig myself deeper and deeper into it. At the end of such sessions I am running on empty and it can take several days to refuel. Combine that with the several days before such events as I engage in anxiety management, it can be quite an exhausting process. So much so that I sometimes wonder why I engage in this way - and the answer seems to be that I fear even more turning in on myself and doing nothing at all!